Me B'Elanna & Not Myself"
by VoyagerCat
Summary: This is a sequel to "Me Myself & B'Elanna" You will need to read it frist or this story will make no sense. Warning, you will laugh!!!
1. Default Chapter

Not from author.  This was a fun collaboration with my dear friend.  She is a talented and very funny author in her own right.  You should read "Me Myself & B'Elanna" first for this story to make sense.  You will find it here on fanfic and on my web site.  Enjoy the story.

"Me, B'Elanna & Not Myself"

This is a sequel to "Me Myself & B'Elanna"

By Tammy Young & Maja Slange

Ó2002   PG13

Disclaimer--- Paramount owns all Star Trek, we can all be Thankful that they don't own Fanfiction and the very talented writers therein.

Authors note--- This story starts at the point where the Doctor put both conscious minds back into their own bodies… or does he?  This was all Maja's idea, so blame her if you don't like it.  (Just kidding)  She is a dear friend and has a wonderful sense of humor to go along with her many talents.  If you haven't read "Me Myself & B'Elanna" this will make no sense, so hop over and read it first.

_Warning!   High laugh alert._

Two and a half hours later, the Doctor had accomplished the impossible.  His two patients were now two again.  Both the Captain and B'Elanna's vital signs were normal and they were breathing on their own.  Now to make sure their conscious minds were where they should be.  The Doctor put the hypospray to the Captain's neck first.  He thought it safer to have the Captain fully awake, just in case he needed protection from B'Elanna if everything hadn't gone just as planned.  There was really no way to know for sure until she was awake.  Janeway started to stir.  Her eyes fluttered a few times before she opened them all the way and tried to focus on his face.

"Doctor, did it work, is the Captain alright?"  The Doctor's eyes opened so wide they would have popped out of his head, if he had been made of more than photons and forcefields.  "Doctor, what the hell's the matter with you?  Janeway's not dead!  Oh God's, please tell me she's not dead?"  The Doctor couldn't speak a word.  He just stood with his mouth open, as his wide eyes moved in the direction of the other biobed.  B'Elanna's gaze followed his and when she focused on herself, lying on that biobed, Janeway's eyes rolled to the back of her head, as she slumped back on her own biobed.  She had passed out from shock and the poor Doctor wasn't far behind.  He would be a dead hologram soon anyway, so what did it matter.  He sank down into the chair in-between the two beds.

"What have I done?  How could this have happened?"  He was so lost in his own reverie that he almost missed the slight moaning coming from the other biobed.  B'Elanna, or rather the Captain was waking up...

Janeway could feel herself slowly rising toward consciousness.  She searched her mind to see if B'Elanna was still there, but everything was quiet, so she decided the process must have been a success.  The headache, however, was a completely different matter.  It was as bad as ever.

The Doctor stood up and turned towards the Captain.  He was terrified at the thought of what she might do to his program when she woke up and found out what had happened.  She was usually quite forgiving, but he feared the last two days might have stretched her patience to the limit.  He wished he could keep the truth from her a little longer, but the only way to do that would be to keep her sedated until he had figured out what went wrong and how to undo it, which might take days.  THAT of course wasn't an option, and he therefore decided to wake her now and get it over with as soon as possible.  He wanted as much control as possible and decided to erect a privacy screen between the two biobeds.

Janeway looked around her, slowly trying to focus, and the first thing she saw was the Doctor's worried look.  She felt a moment of apprehension though she felt fine, as she feared that something might have happened to B'Elanna?  She couldn't hear or feel her anymore, which was certainly a relief, but she didn't want to lose her chief engineer.

"Captain, how do you feel?"  The Doctor's quivering voice broke the silence.

"Apart from a headache, fine.  How's B'Elanna?  I can't hear her anymore, so I assume the procedure was a success", Janeway was still trying to focus her mind.

"Yes, more or less," said the Doctor.

"What do you mean 'more or less'", Janeway asked suspiciously with a touch of dread in her voice.

"Let me first take care of that headache."  The Doctor's courage was quickly fading.  He would have done just about anything to escape sickbay and the glare the Captain was shooting his way.  It had an even more ominous effect coming from B'Elanna's facial expression.  He was a dead man!

"DOCTOR, I asked you a question and I expect you to answer me.  NOW!!!"  Janeway, in B'Elanna's voice yelled, "Do I need to make it an order?"  She closed her eyes in frustration.  Something wasn't right here.  She was saying the words, but it didn't sound like her.  The most horrible of thoughts suddenly occurred to her.  She kept her eyes closed not daring to look to see if the impossible had become possible.  The stomach she was in control of started to churn and she prayed that it was her own.

"No, Captain, but this really isn't the time to go into detail."  The Doctor backed up a few steps.

Janeway took a deep breath.  Just relax Kathryn, this is not happening.  She slowly opened her eyes to face reality.  "Doctor, would there be a good time for the details?"

"None that I can think of Captain."  B'Elanna's face, or rather Janeway's took on a distinct shade of puke green.  The Doctor backed up another step.

"I think I'm going to be sick."  She had no sooner gotten the words out, than the Doctor found out just what she meant.  He wasn't quite sure what her reaction was going to be when she figured out the truth, but this was unlike anything he had conceived of.  With the contents of B'Elanna's stomach running down his legs the Doctor faced his Captain with a disgusted smirk on his face.  Janeway was laughing hard and for some reason just couldn't stop.  If the whole situation hadn't been so damn unbelievable, she may have just killed the Doctor instead of throwing-up on him.

"That was not funny Captain."  The Doctor was not enjoying this at all.

"Don't blame me Doctor.  It's not my stomach.  As I see it, this is the least you deserve.  How the hell did you let this happen?"  The Doctor was about to answer when she held up her hand to stop him.  "Wait!  Don't tell me.  Just fix it.  NOW!"

"I can't... "  Just then, they both heard a moaning sound coming from behind the curtain.  B'Elanna was awake and the Doctor had nowhere to run.  The curtain flew back and the two women faced each other, or themselves for the first time.  "Computer, deactivate EMH."  The Doctor fizzled away leaving Captain and Chief Engineer on their own.

"Coward."  They said at the same time.

They looked at each other for a long moment trying to make some sense of it.  They were both frustrated, but the situation was just too weird for anger.  Life in the Delta Quadrant certainly wasn't dull, but this was a bit more than usual.  They struggled hard not to laugh, but it was just no use.  Janeway broke down first remembering the Doctor's expression, and B'Elanna immediately followed.

Gasping for breath, she tried to describe it to B'Elanna, which only made them laugh even harder.  However, it died down soon enough, and they found themselves faced by the difficult decision of what to do now.  Should they tell the crew or would it be better to keep the information to themselves until they knew more.  There was no need to tell and risk the uncertainty that would most likely follow.

In frustration, B'Elanna violently smashed her hand into the nearest surface.

"Hey!!!  Be careful.  That's my hand you are hurting!"  Janeway reminded her "I'd like my body back intact, so you better watch that temper of yours, _Lieutenant._"

"Oh, year, right!  As if I really care!  No disrespect, but don't you think we've got bigger problems right now!  He didn't even know, if he _could_ revert the process," B'Elanna stated with anger in her voice.  "However, come to think of it this situation might just have potential…"

"Potential!!  What on Earth are you talking about?"  Janeway said seeing nothing but trouble.  "Good grief, I can't believe what's happened these past few days.  I need coffee, lots of it, and I need it now!  Let's continue in the mess hall."

"Coffee!  But you can't!  Remember what happened last time?"  B'Elanna tried.

"Doesn't matter – now come on!"  Janeway threw over her shoulder.  She was already on her way out of sickbay at a fast pace, "besides this time it will be your body – NOT mine!  So I don't have to worry about the consequences."  With that she turned the corner hoping B'Elanna would follow.

She did.  "_Potential_" she thought.  This situation certainly had potential.  Harry had deserved a promotion for a long time, but it was pretty obvious that Janeway wouldn't give it too him.  No one really understood why.  However, right now B'Elanna found herself in a position where she might just be able to do something about it.  She didn't have the right command codes, but she did have the thumbprint, and she felt pretty sure she could find a way around the little problem with the lacking codes.  She might risk spending the rest of the journey in the brig, but she didn't really think so.  Janeway seemed intent on the crew not finding out, and throwing her in the brig for no apparent reason was bound to draw attention.  Perhaps it would even raise a few questions she wouldn't be able to answer.  Besides how could she throw herself in the brig?  It would seem rather strange for the Chief Engineer to throw the Captain in the brig, and later it would be too late, because how would she explain the change of mind to Starfleet Command when they got home.

She was so deep in thought that she didn't notice Janeway had stopped to wait for her.  B'Elanna ran smack into Janeway, which knocked her on her butt.  "What the hell did you stop for?"  The Klingon temper sounded a bit strange coming from Janeway.  It was even stranger when three crewmen passed by and saw the Captain on her butt yelling at B'Elanna.  They tried to overt their eyes and walked a bit faster.  B'Elanna just growled at them, as she got up off the deck, rubbing at Janeway's aching butt.

"Would you pay attention Lieutenant, that's my body you keep smacking around.  Your sure don't do much for my reputation as Captain.  How the hell am going to explain why I was on the deck yelling at you and rubbing my butt?"  B'Elanna just growled at her own face and started to walk away.  "Wait!  What exactly did you mean when you said 'potential'?"  Janeway asked suspiciously.

"Nothing much!  Just a few things I've been thinking about lately – a promotion for Harry for example…"

Janeway ran after her, too shocked to say anything, and afraid of what she would say next.  She couldn't just turn her ship over to B'Elanna, but she didn't really want the crew to know either.  This day was steadily growing worse and so was the headache.  How on earth was she going to solve this problem?

"Harry has wanted and deserved a promotion for a long time now, and I happen to think he really do deserve it!  I don't understand why you won't give it to him, but if you don't mind I think I will just…" B'Elanna didn't get any further, as she saw her own hands coming toward her and the Captain with fire in her eyes.

"DON'T YOU DARE - You may have my body, but I'm still the Captain.  This is still MY ship, and you'd better remember that unless you want to spend the rest of the journey in the brig!!  Now, not one more word until I get some coffee or I'm likely to do something we will both regret."  She released her hold on her own throat.  _Like killing myself, and a certain chief engineer at once.  _The thought sizzled through her mind.  

_"You're crazier than hell Captain."  _B'Elanna thought, as she mumbled quietly enough, but received the death glare coming from her own eyes, but it didn't seem to have the same effect.  B'Elanna started laughing.

"COFFEE NOW!"  Was all B'Elanna heard herself say as the Captain bounded into the turbolift.

***

After a brisk walk from the turbolift, Janeway flew through the doors to the mess hall with B'Elanna hot on her heels.  Although to everyone else, it looked like B'Elanna with the Captain hot on her heels.

"Neelix, I need coffee NOW!"  B'Elanna, who stood directly behind herself with a big grin on her face didn't miss Neelix's shocked look. 

"B'Elanna, since when do you drink coffee?  You hate the stuff, it makes you…  "  He was cut off by a good impression of the Captain's death glare.

"Since the Captain here has left me with no choice.  Now give me the coffee or I'll rip your…  "

"Lieutenant Torres, you will not talk to Mr. Neelix that way.  Is that understood?"  Janeway turned that glare on her own face, which had a very smug look about it.

"It's ok Captain.  I'll just get your coffee B'Elanna.  Captain, would you like some?"  Neelix had already turned to grab the pot.

"No thanks Neelix.  I think I'm going to give up coffee.  It's just not good for me."  It took all of B'Elanna's self control not to laugh.  She watched herself spin back around with even more fire in her eyes.

"Like hell you will…  Captain.  You can't live without it, so don't even try."  She had just put the cup to B'Elanna's lips, when the doors to the mess hall flung open, followed by Tom and Chakotay.  Before either Janeway or B'Elanna had time to react, Tom had grabbed what he thought was his wife, picking her up in his arms, spilling the coffee all over and kissing her senseless.  To his utter shock, he received a slap for his efforts.

"What the hell was that for?"  He was rubbing at his stinging cheek.

"If you ever kiss me again, I'm going to toss your ass out an airlock.  Have you got that Mr. Paris?"  Poor Tom was so shocked; he couldn't even find his voice.

"Tom, I'm sure B'Elanna didn't mean it."  B'Elanna put a comforting hand on his arm, all the while laughing inside.  "Your wife has been under a lot of stress the last few days.  Just give her time to adjust to being herself again."  The Captain continued to shoot daggers at herself with B'Elanna's eyes.

"Kathryn, are you alright, how did everything go?"  Chakotay had put his warm hand on Janeway's shoulder, making B'Elanna want to laugh even more.  She almost had to bite Janeway's tongue off to keep from doing just that.

"Everything's just fine Commander."  B'Elanna tried a sweet puppy-dog look on Chakotay.  She received his dimples in response.  "It's just been a bit harder on poor B'Elanna.  I'm sure she'll feel better after a good night sleep."  Janeway was rubbing at the throbbing headache that was pounding away in B'Elanna's head.

"Sweetheart, you really don't look to well.  Why don't I take you back to our quarters, so you can get some rest?"  Tom was trying to be the ever-loving husband even though his cheek was sill stinging and he knew he could lose his very life.

"That's a good idea B'Elanna.  You go with your husband and get some sleep.  I'll take care of everything."  That did it; all Janeway could see through B'Elanna's eyes were RED.  The volcano had reached its boiling point.

"Go to hell CAPTAIN!"  Shoving herself and Tom aside, Captain Janeway stormed out of the mess hall.  Tom was even more shocked watching his wife's retreating form.

"Captain, are you sure she's alright?  I've never seen her act like that, and we've all seen the bad side of B'Elanna."  Tom was addressing his Captain in total confusion.  B'Elanna really felt sorry for her husband and almost wrapped Janeway's arms around him.  Luckily, Chakotay's hand was on her arm or she would have done so.

"She'll be ok Tom, just give her time."  B'Elanna tried to sound convincing.

"I better go make sure."  Tom turned to head out after his wife.  "Captain, if I don't show up for my next shift you'll know why."

"I'm sure you'll be fine Tom, just go easy on her; and don't get too concerned, if she acts a bit strange."

"Thanks Captain, and I'm sorry for what she said to you.  She must not be feeling herself yet.  I know she didn't mean it."  B'Elanna just smiled sweetly at her husband.

"Don't worry about it, I've been told to go to hell before.  It's going to be a crowed place that's for sure."  Tom just smiled at his Captain and Chakotay started laughing.

"Kathryn, you seem to be in as good a mood as B'Elanna is in a bad one.  Are you sure there's not something you're not telling me?"

"I tell you what Commander, if the replicator rations are on you tonight, I'd be happy to join you for dinner and we can discus it."  B'Elanna linked her arm through Chakotay's, pulling him in the direction of the door.

"Well Captain, I'd be honored."  They left the mess hall arm in arm, leaving a very confused Neelix behind.

***

Janeway stormed down the corridor and didn't give a damn about the strange looks she received from various crewmembers she passed on her way to...  She stopped.  Where was she going?  She didn't have a clue.  She was too mad to think straight and the thought of B'Elanna… the NERVE!!!  She had actually ENJOYED it!!!!!!!  And had obviously decided to take full advantage of the situation.

She heard someone behind her and started walking again.  The last thing she needed was for someone to stop and talk to her, because _how _would she.  Arghhhh!!

And what about Tom?  He was concerned about his wife, which was natural, but how on earth was she going to handle having to spend the night with him.  Granted she craved intimacy, would love a hug or a cuddle once in awhile, but he certainly wasn't her first choice.  He would probably be gentle with her, try to give her the time she needed to adjust, but for all he knew she was his wife, and he might just want to…  No!  She would NOT allow that!  She would have to find a way to avoid it, but how?

The effect all this was having on her angered and terrified her at the same time.  Oh, she was going to enjoy rewriting the Doctors holomatrix as soon as he was done fixing this mess.

She decided she needed something else to occupy her mind, so she headed off towards the holodeck.  She couldn't very well go to the bridge like this.  Oh the look on the faces on her senior staff when they saw B'Elanna head towards the big chair and then sitting down comfortably, as if NOTHING was amiss.  The image started her laughing despite her anger.  She could just picture it all - Tuvok's raised eyebrow, Harry starring, his mouth hanging open, Chakotay with a stunned look on his face, and Tom…

She reached the holodeck and called up her favorite program only to receive an "_unable to comply_" from the computer.  "_WHAT?_"  She exclaimed.

_"Please rephrase question,"_ the computer chirruped.

"Why can't I access my own program?"  She hissed between clenched teeth.

"The a_uthorizing voice print does not match_" the computer responded detached.  Of course, it didn't realize the danger it currently faced or it might not have been so cool about it – computer or no computer!

Janeway starred at the screen.  She was furious, but realized it was only natural that the computer wouldn't grant her access to the captain's personal programs when her voice print clearly identified her as the chief engineer.

She didn't have the slightest idea what programs B'Elanna might run, and besides it wouldn't really be appropriate for her to access any of them without her permission, so she decided to forget about the holodeck and go bug the engineering staff instead.  That might actually prove to be more fun.  As B'Elanna, she would be able to yell and scream her frustration out without anyone noticing it, and right now, that was exactly what she needed. 

She stormed towards engineering, almost knocking Tom of his feet in the process.

"B'Elanna!  What is the matter with you?"  Tom had grabbed Kathryn by the upper arms and held onto her with a firm grip.  His wife's eyes were blazing and he had no idea what he had done to make her so mad.  "Sweetheart, calm down, I'm only trying to help.  What did the Doctor say to you?  Is there something you're not telling me?"  Tom's horror stricken expression melted a bit of the anger Janeway was feeling, after all this wasn't his fault and he thought he was talking to his wife.

_Maybe I should just tell him the truth…_ she continued to stare blankly at him, _on second thought, not a good idea.  Letting the infamous king of the rumor-mill in on this can only make things worse in the long run.  _Tom had pulled her into a hug and for a fleeting moment, Janeway welcomed the sensation.  The moment was over before Tom would have like, as she pushed herself out of his arms.

"B'Elanna, would you please talk to me, what's wrong?"

"Nothing's wrong Tom, I'm just a bit wound up and I need to get to engineering, it's been a few days and I need to make sure everything is running smoothly."  She tried to head down the corridor hoping he would just let her go.  Tom grabbed her arm and swung her back around.  _Guess not._  She met his eyes again.

"You don't need to check on engineering, everything is fine and besides you were supposed to go to our quarters to rest.  You've had a rough few days and the Doc won't be happy to find you working already."  At the mention of the Doctor Janeway's anger bubbled up again.

"The Doctor couldn't find his holo-ass on a bright sunny day."  Janeway wasn't joking, but Tom thought his wife was hilarious.  He was laughing so hard his sides started to hurt.  Even Janeway couldn't help cracking a smile.

"Not that I don't think that was funny B'Elanna, but why so hard on the Doc?  I mean he saved your life and all."

_No, he's made my life a living hell for the last few days.  _That was what she wanted to say and she even had to bite her tongue to stop herself from doing so.  "Let's just forget I said anything, ok?  Now I really do need to check on my engineering staff.  I'll see you later and don't worry, I'll be good."  He still didn't look convinced, so Janeway had to think quickly.  She reached up and pulled his face toward hers placing a quick kiss on his lips.  "Now, get going yourself, don't you have a ship to fly?"

"Well, this amazing star ship does have autopilot, but I should get back to the bridge before the Captain has my butt, and I know she can find it."  Now Janeway was laughing.

"I'm sure she can Tom, so get going before she starts the hunt."  Janeway turned and headed back down the corridor hoping to make her escape.

"Umm, B'Elanna… engineering is the other way, or did the Doc misplace your sense of direction?"  Tom had caught up to her again and was still laughing.

_Not just B'Elanna's sense of direction, but B'Elanna herself.  _Another unspoken thought to go along with the smile.  "Thanks for reminding me Tom."  This time she picked up her pace and almost ran in the opposite direction.  She could hear Tom still laughing as she entered the turbolift.  _This is a bloody nightmare.  _Janeway slid up against the wall as the lift doors closed giving her a few moments of peace.

***

Chakotay walked B'Elanna to the Captain's quarters and waited for her to enter.  They had been talking and laughing all the way, and he was sorry to have to leave her, but he was still on duty and had to return to the bridge.

She seemed to fumble a bit with the entry code, and he just couldn't help commenting.  "Problems Captain?"

"Not at all, Commander!  Why would you think that?"  She answered with a suspicious smile on her face.

"Oh, I don't know, maybe the fact that you can't seem to open the door.  Would you like some help with that?"  He said.

"I am perfectly capable of doing it myself, and I'm sure you have more important matters to attend to.  I'll see you tonight – 19:00 hours.  Dismissed," she responded.  She would have to bypass security and she couldn't very well do it with him standing there, and he didn't seem to be leaving.

"I said DISMISSED," she repeated a little louder.

He couldn't take his eyes of her.  She seemed different somehow, more relaxed.  "What … oh … YES 19.00 hours – your quarters.  Enjoy your afternoon off Captain."  He turned slowly and headed down the corridor toward the turbolift that would take him to the bridge.  He KNEW there was something she wasn't telling him, but he realized he would have to wait.  He was a patient man after all.

B'Elanna sighed with relief, removed the panel and started rewiring the circuitry to gain access to the Captain's quarters.  She would have to do it quickly, because it wouldn't look good, if anyone caught her red handed.  _God!  THAT would be embarrassing._

It would of course have been easier, if she and the Captain had just remembered to exchange codes, but this was somewhat more fun, more exciting in a way, and besides, the embarrassment would befall the Captain, not her.  It might ruin the Captain's reputation a little, but so what?  She would have to do worse things before this was over, if she was to arrange a promotion for Harry.

She managed to open the door just, as she heard someone walking down the corridor.  She stepped inside looking around.  She'd only been in the Captain's quarters a few times, well… with the exception of the last few days, but she hadn't really been there alone then, as she had been much too close to the Captain.

Suddenly feeling slightly apprehensive B'Elanna looked around. _ Maybe this isn't a good idea, this is the Captain's personal world, I don't want to hurt her, but…_ she walked past the mirror looking at her reflection, _but nothing, I am the Captain.  _She laughed in Janeway's voice, as she headed towards the bedroom.  _May as well make myself at home, besides she gets my husband tonight, it's only fair._

***

By the time Janeway made it to engineering, she had almost forgotten, who she was.  Walking in, her first instinct was to look for B'Elanna; until she remembered, she WAS B'Elanna.  "Lieutenant Torres, we were not expecting you today."  Vorik walked up to her and she almost reprimanded Vorik for calling her Lieutenant.  "The Doctor said you would be taking a few days off.  Are feeling better?"

"The Doctor's an idiot, and I'm just fine thank you.  Is there a reason you don't want me here Lieutenant?"  Janeway knew she sounded snappy, but just couldn't help it.  She really didn't feel fine, and the headache was getting worse by the minute.

"There is no reason that I know of.  You are the chief engineer after all, we are always grateful for your help."  Vorik's blah Vulcan expression did nothing to improve Janeway's mood.  Her best option at the moment was to get to B'Elanna's office before she had to deal with someone else.  Maybe she could find out a secret or two about her chief engineer while she was at it.  A smile crept slowly over B'Elanna's face.

_This could prove to be a bit of fun after all._  "Since I'm the chief engineer, I'll be in my office, if you need anything."  Janeway left Vorik a bit perplexed and walked into B'Elanna's office, closing the door behind her.

"Doctor to Captain Janeway."  His slightly humble voice came over the comlink.  He was answered by two voices with two different responses. 

"What do you want?"  And, "this better be good news Doctor."  

"Well at least this saves me from having to contact you separately.  Two birds with one stone, as they say."

"Doctor, you are about to find that stone hitting you upside your holohead.  And Lieutenant, you are not me so please don't answer my hails."  Janeway was pacing around in B'Elanna's office.

"Well excuse me then Captain.  From what I can see I sure look like you, saggy boobs and all."  B'Elanna started laughing in the Captain's voice, which just made the whole thing worse, well worse still was the Doctor's obnoxious laughter.  Janeway was rubbing at the pounding headache trying to control her anger.

"B'Elanna, unless you want your own body intoxicated with coffee, I suggest you choke on any further comments about my boobs.  Is that clear Lieutenant?"

"Crystal Captain.  I'll just go soak your poor old body in a nice hot bath."  B'Elanna cut her end of the link, as the Doctor uttered one last chuckle.

"Doctor, you'd better have good news or the last laughing sound you will make will be the croaking sound of a frog, as you hop through the corridors of my ship, is that understood?"  Janeway was mad, but she couldn't help the smile that snuck across B'Elanna's face.  This had to be the most bizarrely comical situation anyone could dream up, and of course, she had to be in the center of it.

"I'm sorry Captain, I can tell you are _hopping_ mad."  The Doctor just couldn't help that one, even though he could well face the rest of his existence as that frog.  "I do have an idea about what went wrong and I think I can correct this blunder."

"Blunder!  That's an understatement, if I ever heard one.  You better be able to fix this mess, and soon."

"I said I believe I can, but it's not as easy as snapping my fingers and zapping you both back to your right bodies."

"It never is easy around here Doctor.  How much time are we talking about?"

"A day or two at the most and I'll be ready."  The Doctor could hear the unspoken profanity through the sigh in B'Elanna's voice.  "I said I was sorry Captain, what more can I do?"

"Just fix this mess Doctor, as soon as possible.  Janeway out."  She cut the link and sank back into the chair at B'Elanna's desk, closing her eyes in thought.  _I can do this, just a day or two more and I can just be little old me again._  A slight smile broke out on her face.  _One never wonders how much you miss yourself until you're not there.  I'd like to know how I'm going to enter this one into my logs.  _Before she had a chance to assess her own thoughts, a tapping on the door to the office interrupted her.  B'Elanna's eyes flew open to meet a pair of dark-chocolate ones, followed by a pair of dimples to go with them.  Janeway jumped to her feet so fast she almost knocked over the chair she had just vacated.

"B'Elanna!"  Chakotay was laughing at his friend, who looked like she was about ready to bolt out of the office.  "What's with you, you look like you've just seen a ghost?"

"Haven't seen one, but I sure feel like one Commander."  Chakotay was still looking at her in puzzlement.

"So it's Commander today is it?  I'd say I have to agree that you must be a ghost.  This whole thing has taken more out of you than you'll admit.  You're even more pigheaded than the Captain."

"I beg your pardon?"  Janeway didn't like the fact that Chakotay had just called her pigheaded.  She stood rooted to the deck, with her hands on her hips, sending the look his way.  Only problem was it didn't have the same effect coming from B'Elanna's body.  Chakotay started laughing again.

"I think I'd better get you back to sickbay, you're acting a bit strange.  If you're trying to imitate the Captain, it's not working.  You just don't have the knack for the death glare."

"Chakotay, you're a pig."

"Now, that's better.  That sounds like the B'Elanna we all love."  Janeway couldn't help it, he had managed to get her to laugh despite her frustration.  "So are you going to tell me how you're really feeling or not?"  He sat down on the edge of B'Elanna's desk.

"I'm fine, just a bit tired and one hell of a headache.  By the way, aren't you supposed to be on the bridge, playing captain?"

"I'll have you know I don't play captain, I am Captain, well when Kathryn is otherwise off duty that is.  Which by the way is what you should be doing, off duty, taking it easy for a few days?  You should follow the Captain's example and relax."  The fire was back in Janeway's half Klingon eyes and it was directed at her first officer.

"Well maybe I could relax, if our dear Captain would get her lazy loafing butt out of the tub and do her job."  Chakotay's bug-eyed shocked expression dissolved Janeway's anger and she burst out laughing at him.

"What in the hell is wrong with you B'Elanna?  If I didn't know better, I'd say the Doctor misplaced your brain altogether.  Kathryn risked her own life to save yours, and this is how you repay her?"  Janeway had stopped laughing, feeling very touched by how he was sticking up for her.

"Chakotay, it's not what you think.  I didn't mean to…  "  The look he gave her was not one of understanding and there was no way she would be able to convince him right now anyway.  "  Never mind, I'm just tired and I didn't mean anything by it."

"My point exactly B'Elanna.  You are over tired and you need to recover from the last few days.  You are now officially off duty until I say otherwise."

"You can't do that."  Janeway hissed.  "You are NOT the Captain."

"I am for the next two day's, so if you don't want to spend that time in the brig, I suggest you follow orders, Lieutenant."  At that moment, Janeway didn't know whether to deck her first officer or burst out laughing.  While deciding, which was her best move, she stared at him blankly until Vorik interrupted her.

"I'm sorry to bother you Commander, Lieutenant, but we've got a bit of a problem I was hoping you could help us with."  He was looking directly at Janeway for that help, although Chakotay answered for her.

"If it's not an emergency Vorik, I think you can handle it yourself.  Lieutenant Torres is off duty for the next two days."  Chakotay hadn't taken his eyes off her the whole time.  Looking for what, Janeway didn't know, but she suspected he was trying to decide, if she was crazy or not.

"Yes Sir, Commander."  Vorik started to back out the door.

"Hold on Vorik, I'll be right out to help as soon as I have a few words with Captain Chakotay here."  Janeway had pushed past Chakotay, so she was standing directly in front of the door.  Vorik just nodded slightly and left.

"B'Elanna, you are really pushing it here.  What part of off duty don't you understand?"  Janeway folded B'Elanna's arms, not budging an inch.

"Must be the part that says my friend Chakotay is being unfair and acting like he has all the power, because he's playing captain."

"B'Elanna, I'm not trying to be unfair or mean.  I just want what's best for you and right now that's getting some rest and taking care of yourself."

"Fine, I'll go get some rest just as soon as I help Vorik, I promise."  She added.  "Chakotay, I know I'm a bit snappy and tired, so I won't overdo it.  You just have to trust me on this."

"B'Elanna, I don't think you have a clue what's good for you, but I'll give you a break.  You have one hour to fix whatever this so called problem is and then you're off duty and I'm dead serious, not one minute longer."

"Aye Captain, I'll be snuggled in my beddie-bye in less than an hour, if that's ok."  Chakotay just sighed.

"You're impossible."

"So you've told me.  Now, can I get back to work?"

"One hour."  He put his hand on B'Elanna's shoulder, causing Janeway to flinch at his touch.  The smile that followed touched her even deeper, but she kept a straight face.  "I'll be on the bridge for a while, and then I'm going to my quarters to start on my special surprise meal for Kathryn."  The straight face turned into a frown.

"Why?"  Chakotay's smile just continued.

"Not that it's any of your business Miss Nosey, and besides, I thought you would be thrilled that we were spending time together."

"I'm ecstatic, jumping for joy, thrilled.  Now if you'll excuse me, my hour is ticking away."  Janeway turned and walked out of the office leaving Chakotay even more confused than he had been before.

_What in the hell is going on with her?  _Chakotay left engineering headed for the bridge.  Janeway watched him go feeling an unexpected pang of jealousy nip at her heart.  After all, he was doing this for her; she just wasn't her at the moment.

"Ok Vorik, let's see what you've got.  I'm on a time limit with our new Captain."  Janeway and Vorik headed up to the upper level of engineering.

***

"Tom, can I see you in the ready room for a minute?"  Chakotay called over the comlink.

"Be right there Commander."  Tom nodded to Harry, as he walked past.

"What did you do now Tom, cheat on the betting pool?"  Harry had learned the art of teasing very well from his friend.

"Buster, you're good, but not good enough."  Harry received Tom's remark, as he entered the ready room.  The doors closed leaving Harry's laughter behind.  "What's up Commander?"  Tom took the seat in front of the Captain's desk.

"Have you had a chance to talk with B'Elanna since she stormed out of the mess hall?"  Chakotay had been stewing over this since he had left engineering.

"Briefly, why?"  Tom looked slightly worried by the question.

"I'm not sure, how did she seem to you?  I mean was she acting strange, a bit more snappy than usual."

"With B'Elanna that's hard to tell.  She did seem to be preoccupied with getting to engineering, but then she started to head in the wrong direction.  I told her to go back to our quarters and rest, but she doesn't listen to me."

"Well, I just ordered her to do the same, and she better listen to me."  Tom was chuckling a bit.

"Don't count on it Commander, but I'll make sure she stays put in bed when my shift ends."

"I don't think that is quite what I had in mind for relaxing, but hey, whatever works, just make sure does get some sleep."  Tom was really laughing now.

"Don't worry, I will.  She's really been through the ringer the last few days, as has the Captain.  Who by the way seems to be following orders better than my wife, wonder why?"

"Good question, should be the other way around, but Kathryn is being a good girl and staying in her quarters.  Maybe this has taken a harder toll on them than we thought.  I can't begin to imagine what they have been through."

"You and me both Commander, but we're lucky to have them back in one piece, well… in two pieces that is."  This time it was Chakotay, who had to laugh, until the interruption of the comlink.

"Commander Chakotay, we've got a visitor.  The Naballan ship is back and they're hailing us."  Tuvok had no sooner gotten the words out than Chakotay and Tom rushed out of the ready room.

"What do they want Tuvok?"

"I don't know Commander, they insisted on speaking with the Captain, but since she's off duty maybe you can appease them."  Chakotay had been told all about them and wasn't happy to have a repeat performance with the arrogant Naballan.

"On screen Tuvok."  Chakotay walked to the front of the bridge, as Tom slid into his place at the helm.  "This is Commander Chakotay, is there something I can do for you?"  A Naballan moved into view and took a seat.  Chakotay almost burst out laughing at the sight.  This was the first time he had had the misfortune of seeing one of them and wasn't quite prepared for the experience.  Tom on the other hand didn't have as much self-control.  He did burst out laughing at the sight.  _"Lieutenant, cool it."_  Chakotay hissed just above a whisper.

"Where is Captain Janeway?"  A gurgling, croaking sound met their ears.

"Captain Janeway is unavailable.  As I said, I'm Commander Chakotay and I'm in command at the moment.  Now, do we have a problem here?"  The Naballan's large frog like eyes locked at Chakotay.  The menacing feeling intensified with his big sneering toothless smile.  He reminded Chakotay of an ancient earth children's character, 'Kermit the Frog', except for the fact that this frog looked evil.  Not at all the friendly frog of fiction.

"No Commander, we do not have a problem, it's you, who has the problem.  I insist on speaking to your Captain or I'll be forced to take action."

"Their weapons are powering up."  Tuvok spoke from tactical.

"Shields Tuvok."  Chakotay hadn't taken his eyes off of frog face.  "Look, we're not your enemies here.  You've been following Voyager and attacking us for weeks now.  What have we done to offend you?"  Chakotay was fast losing his patience.

"You have five minutes to get your Captain up here before we start firing."  The frog fizzled out of view cutting the link.

"That didn't go over too well."  Tom turned to face Chakotay, who just rolled his eyes as he tapped his combadge.

"Chakotay to Captain Janeway, you're needed on the bridge."  They all heard the sloshing sound of water before her reply.

"On my way."  B'Elanna had jumped out of the tub at the sound of the hail, leaving almost everyone on the bridge laughing under his or her breath.  Chakotay let his dimples escape at the thought of Kathryn still soaking in the tub.  If they got out of this little frog diversion intact, he was going to love dinner tonight.  He was still enjoying the possibility in thought when the turbolift doors swished open three minutes later.

"What's going on?"  Before anyone could answer B'Elanna's question she did it herself.  "Not again, what the hell do they want?"  She had joined Chakotay in front of the view screen.

"Good question Captain.  The Naballan leader wouldn't talk to me.  He was very insistent that he speak to you only."  B'Elanna locked Janeway's eyes on Chakotay.

"How insistent?"

"Weapons are powered up, old frog face means business."  B'Elanna started laughing at her friend's description.  She had called them that and worse the first time she had seen them. 

"Captain, I do not see this situation as funny.  They have already caused us enough damage."  Tuvok choked out all laughter, as only Tuvok could.  Before B'Elanna could respond, the view-screen was activated again.

"Captain Janeway, I am glad you thought best to talk with me."

"That makes one of us Captain Gorf.  Now, what do you want?"  At that moment, Chakotay wanted nothing more than to run off the bridge, so he could collapse into a fit of laughter.  As it was he had to turn away from the view screen and swallow back the erupting laughter.  B'Elanna couldn't help the big smile herself, as she leaned in close to him to whisper.

_"Sorry, guess you didn't know his name.  Kind of fitting don't you think?"_  Chakotay had to squeeze his eyes shut to avoid the tears that were forming from the un-escaped laughter.

_"You could have warned me Captain, thanks a lot."  _Chakotay hissed back as quietly as he could.

"Captain Janeway, this is rude, I demand to speak with you, now!"  Gorf was about to lose all control.

"You demand!  I don't take orders from you Gorf.  In fact, I'm fed up with you and your little band of froggets."  Gorf's eyes grew double in size along with everyone on the bridge of Voyager.  They were all staring at B'Elanna, as if their Captain had lost her mind.  "Now, unless you have a good reason for this intrusion, I suggest you get out of our way."

"We have good reason Captain Janeway, you owe us restitution for all the damage you and your ship have inflicted on us."  B'Elanna's Klingon temper exploded.

"We WHAT!  Are you out of your mind, you P'Tok!  We aren't the ones who started this mess and I'm sure as hell not going to give you anything to fix your damaged ships."  Chakotay was looking at her like she was an alien herself, having no idea how closely accurate that thought was.  He reached out grabbing her arm to get her attention.

"Captain!  What are you doing?  This is no way to treat this situation." 

"Are you questioning my authority Commander?"

"No, I'm questioning your sanity Kathryn.  What's gotten into you?"

"I hate to break this up Captain, Commander, but we've got more company."  Harry Kim cut in.  "Three more Naballan ships approaching."

"Red Alert!"  Chakotay called out just as the first blast rocked the ship.

***

Janeway was working with Vorik trying to determine the problem and find a solution when they were thrown violently to the floor, as the ship rocked under them and the red alert klaxons began to scream.

"What the hell!!" she yelled to be heard, as she scrambled to her feet acting on instinct.

_"Battle stations everyone",_ Chakotay's voice filtered through the comsystem at the same time Vorik called out "where are you going, Lieutenant?"  But Janeway was already on her way out of engineering, and didn't hear any of them.  In any emergency, her place was on the bridge and NOT engineering.

She started running and slapped her combadge "Janeway to the bridge, what's going on?"

_"Unable to comply",_ the annoying computer answered.  _What?_  She thought and tried again, but got the same response.  _What the hell is wrong with the computer?_  Deciding that problem would have to wait, she hurried to the turbolift.  The safety of her ship was more important, and she could deal with the damn computer later.

Voyager rocked with a jolt once again and she was thrown hard into a bulkhead.  For a second, she lay there a bit dazed, and a bit more of a headache, but soon regained her senses, wiping the trickle of blood from her ridged forehead.  She more cautiously proceeded on her way to the bridge.

She found it a bit strange that Chakotay hadn't called her yet, but assumed the problems with the computer prevented him from doing so.  She hurried faster because her ship and crew needed their captain.

Finally, she reached the turbolift, but had to wait awhile for it to get there and it seemed like hours passed before it arrived.  The doors finally opened and she stepped in, sweating and bleeding, but relieved to know she was now only seconds away from the bridge.  Her relief was temporary, however, as it came to an abrupt stop, throwing her to the deck.  _WHAT NOW?_  Exasperated, she tried to call the bridge, but got no answer, so she tried engineering, but once again heard nothing but silence.

_"What on earth is going on?"  _She grumbled to the walls of the turbolift._  "Well, I can't just sit here and wait for someone to figure out what the hell the problem is.  Time for plan B."_

First, she tried to open the doors, but they were jammed shut and couldn't be opened.  She reached for the emergency hatch at the top of the lift and crawled out, scrapping her arm on the way through.  More than one colorful exclamation passed her lips.  There was an opening to a jefferies tube right by, and for a second, she debated climbing the stairs inside the shaft, as it would be a much quicker way of getting to the bridge.  Looking down at her scrapped and bleeding arm, she quickly decided against it. It was too dangerous.  If the lift suddenly started moving again there would be no more Captain left.

She started crawling as fast as she could manage, cursing each time the ship rocked under her, and she still couldn't reach anyone to find out what was going on.

Reaching the intersection, she began climbing up deck by deck, almost getting thrown off a few times, but her Janeway stubbornness saved her and she managed to hang on.  Finally, she reached deck one and attempted to open the access hatch, but it wouldn't budge.  She tried to determine where she was, thereby deciding where to go, and finally decided on the one leading to her ready room.

Making it there in record time, she straightened up and looked toward the windows, where she saw the Naballan ships, several of them.  _Not again!!_  She thought.  _As if they didn't cause enough trouble the last time.  They damn near killed B'Elanna, and the after effects of that are driving me mad.  The sooner I get there the better.  _Chakotay was a fine First Officer, but this situation she would rather handle herself.

"Report" she barked walking through the door of the ready room.

That certainly got their attention.  They were in the middle of a battle, but the sight of the ship's chief engineer walking through the doors from the Captain's ready room, a bit the worse for wear and demanding a report was a sight to behold.

"I want a full status report and I want to know why they are attacking us, AGAIN!!" she continued not noticing the stares from the senior officers present.  Chakotay looked shocked while the real B'Elanna tried to stifle her building laughter.  Harry Kim was the first to find his voice.

"B'Elanna, how the… what the… you're bleeding."  Now B'Elanna did laugh as Janeway gave her the not so affective death glare.

"Good job Harry, you really got your point across, and you're observant too."  Chakotay shot daggers at B'Elanna with his eyes and went to help B'Elanna, well Janeway.

"B'Elanna, you're hurt, what happened, why are you up here?"  He was looking closely at her head wound, making Janeway a bit flustered by his closeness.  It took her a few seconds to get her brain to conform to her mouth, and a few more to remember, who the hell she was supposed to be.

Before she could react to either thought, the ship was slammed again by a phaser blast from one of the Naballan ships, which sent Janeway flying into Chakotay's arms.

"Tuvok, give them a taste of their own medicine."  B'Elanna barked out the order, still enjoying the part of Captain.

"Belay that order Commander."  Janeway, not so willingly removed herself from her first officers warm arms.

"Excuse me Lieutenant!"  Tuvok looked about as confused as a Vulcan could.  Tom had swung around in his seat, looking at his wife like she was a total stranger.  The real B'Elanna had the menacing impression that she was about to be busted.

"You heard me Commander.  I'm sure you've noticed that Captain Janeway here isn't acting like herself.  The Doctor gave me orders to keep an eye on her… just in case this whole thing had certain… side effects.  I believe she isn't acting in her right mind."  Janeway was glaring at her own eyes, which were filled with a mixture of amusement and anger.

Tuvok hadn't fired a shot and Chakotay kept looking from one to the other, trying to decide if either or both of them had gone nuts.  "Commander, we're being hailed by the lead Naballan ship."  Harry cut the tension that was thicker than the ships' bulkheads.

"On screen."  All three officers said at the same time, moving to stand side by side behind Tom's chair.  He just turned back to the screen, completely dumbfounded.

"Captain Janeway, have you reconsidered our request?"  Gorf's frog faced smile made Janeway's stomach lurch.

"What the hell are you talking about Gorf?"  Janeway answered from B'Elanna's mouth.  She was jabbed in the arm by Chakotay, which made her temper flare even more.

"B'Elanna!  Stay out of this.  Don't you think you should be in engineering, or at least back in your quarters like you've been ordered."  That did it, the volcano was about to blow, and the force was directed at Chakotay.

"Why you son of a …" She had slapped him across the face, leaving B'Elanna's nice handprint burning red on his cheek.  B'Elanna had reached around covering her own mouth with Janeway's hand, stifling the rest of that un-captain like statement and pulling her away from Chakotay.

"Lieutenant!  That's quite enough."  B'Elanna yelled rather loudly, still holding on to her own body.  She turned to face the view-screen.  "Gorf, could you please excuse me for a moment?  I have a rather touchy situation here, and don't blow up my ship until I get back."  She was already pulling the captain with her towards the ready room.  Frog face started laughing, but there wasn't as much as a breath being taken from the bridge crew, as they watched the retreating captain and chief engineer.

"No problem Captain, I'm finding this most amusing."  He continued to laugh, as Chakotay signalled for Harry to cut the link.

***

The door to the ready room had hardly closed before Janeway blurted out "What the hell do you think you are doing Lieutenant?"

"Trying to save our butt Captain," she responded with laughter in her voice.  "It's a dirty job, but someone's got to do it and since you aren't exactly in a position to do much about it now, I thought it might as well be me" she continued innocently.

"And your solution was to FIRE at them?  Did it EVER occur to you to use a bit of diplomacy?  I realize they aren't the most diplomatic race, but…"

"But nothing Captain.  Those toad-faced morons have about as much diplomacy as ship full of drunk Klingons."  Janeway almost cracked a smile at the expression on her own face that was coming from B'Elanna.  She put her hands to her aching head feeling B'Elanna's ridged forehead.  The pain was getting worse and at that moment, she didn't know whether to laugh, cry or jump ship.  

Locking eyes with herself the latter of her three choices seemed the most appealing.  _Maybe I should just hop on over to Gorf's ship and beg for asylum.  It can't be worse than this and maybe I would like being a frog, I sure as hell don't like being a half Klingon._

"Captain, are you alright?  You look like you're about to run for your life."  B'Elanna was starting to get worried about her friend and captain.  She knew she had been a bit hard on her, well down right mean was more like it, but it was all in fun and it was her way to deal with this crazy nightmare they had been forced into."I know I haven't handled this very well, but you have to admit they are idiots and if it wasn't for them, I would still be ME!"  B'Elanna was almost as frustrated as her counterpart.

Without acknowledging her chief engineer, Janeway walked to the replicator and ordered coffee.  The headache was horrible, her stomach was in knots, and her ship was in jeopardy of being destroyed.  Not a perfect day in the Delta Quadrant.  "You know B'Elanna, I think you are starting to like coffee."  She remarked in between sips of the dark bitter liquid. 

"No, I still hate it, but my stomach is adapting to the poison.  Not like it has much choice now does it?"

"Nope, not much."  Janeway continued to sip the coffee while B'Elanna paced the ready room.  The doors to the ready room swished open, causing her to turn and walk smack into the uninvited guest.

"Chakotay, don't you ever knock?"  B'Elanna pushed herself away from him.

"Sorry Captain, but I didn't think you'd let me in if I did, and this is too important to just sit back and wait for the bomb to drop."  Janeway was still sitting on the couch and she couldn't help the laughter that bubbled up.  Poor Chakotay didn't have a clue as to what was really going on.  She almost felt sorry for him, until she saw the deadly glare he shot in her direction.  "B'Elanna, this is not funny, just what in the hell are you doing?"  Janeway didn't answer so he turned his attention back to who he thought was the captain.  "And you CAPTAIN, have undoubtedly lost your mind."

"I won't argue that."  Janeway said from her seat, holding up her cup of coffee and smiling sweetly.  "She has totally lost it Commander."

"Shut up B'Elanna, that is no way to speak to your Captain, or to me."  Chakotay was livid and Janeway tried to hide her laughter, unsuccessfully.

"Yes Commander, I was just reaffirming your statement.  'Captain Janeway has lost her mind,' but I'll be quiet now, don't want to spend my life in the brig."  Janeway choked on her laughter along with her coffee.

"Commander, maybe we should continue this conversation a bit later hmm?  We have other…"  B'Elanna didn't get to finish her statement.

"Captain to the bridge, the Naballan Captain is hailing you."  Tuvok's always calm voice interrupted.  Janeway jumped up from the couch, B'Elanna shot a glance at herself, and Chakotay just stared at both of them.  Neither said a word.  "Captain, did you hear me?"  Now even Tuvok had a hint of life in his voice.

"Tell frog face to keep his skin on, I'll be there in a minute, Janeway out."  

"Not very diplomatic CAPTAIN."  Janeway folded B'Elanna's arms across her chest and glared at herself.

"Not very damn smart either."  Chakotay was so confused he thought he was losing his mind.  

"I'm not stupid Commander, and I'll straighten this out in a minute.  Now if you'll give me and the…  B'Elanna a minute please, I'll be right out."  Chakotay looked from one to the other, but neither of them gave him a second glance.  Their focus was locked on each other.  With a huff and puff, he turned and stomped out the door.

"You'd better not be stupid Lieutenant, this is my ship and crew you are messing with.  These Naballans can be big trouble.  We have to do what we can to get them off our backs, and threatening them is NOT going to help."

"I know that Captain, and I am sorry about before, but they have made such a mess of my life, I just didn't think first."

"Well you'd better think first and react later B'Elanna or consequences be damned, I'll do it for you."  Janeway stepped over to herself and put her hand on her shoulder.  "B'Elanna, this isn't just your life here, this is your entire family.  Use your common sense, bargain, trade, lie, whatever it takes to appease their infantile minds."  She gave her chief engineer a half smile.

"And if that doesn't work?"

"We blow them the hell up."  B'Elanna couldn't help it, she hugged herself, and well her Captain, and they both started laughing.

"It's a deal Captain, now come and watch how a professional does it."  They headed arm in arm towards the bridge.

"I wouldn't miss this for a quick trip to the Alpha Quadrant, Lieutenant."

***

"Captain Gorf, my sincere apologies for this slight interruption."  B'Elanna was doing her best impression of a sweet little obedient Starfleet officer.  

Janeway was standing behind her and had to swallow back a chuckle at her chief engineer's acting abilities.  _She's good._

"It's quite alright Captain, we have been most amused by your bickering, and I think we have a proposal that you'll agree too."  B'Elanna sat in the captain's chair, playing the part to the hilt.

"I'm listening Captain Gorf."  She even received a smile from Chakotay, who had taken his own seat next to her.  Janeway stood on the upper deck, just enjoying the whole scene. 

"We've heard some things about you from other species we've come in contact with."  That made the hair on the back of Janeway's next stand straight up.  B'Elanna wiggled slightly in the captain's chair.

"What sort of things Captain."  B'Elanna was trying to remain calm.

"It seems you have a…  Talaxian on board."  B'Elanna shot to her feet and Janeway scurried from the upper deck and was at her side in an instant.  Tom and Harry looked from one to the other, while Chakotay just sat in his seat with a dumbfounded look about him. 

"So what about him Gorf?  I'm NOT giving you Neelix, he's not for trade or any other thing you have in mind."  Janeway had put her hand on B'Elanna's arm trying to keep them both calm.

"Captain Janeway, we don't want your… whatever his name is, we want his recipe for that well known dish he makes, and maybe some of that leekie-root stuff."  Gorf was being very serious, but the bridge crew of Voyager simultaneously burst out laughing, with the exception of Tuvok, who had the only straight face left.  "Captain!  What is so funny now?  I think you and your crew have lost your minds.  Maybe we should just destroy your ship, put you all out of your misery."

With the best performance of her life, B'Elanna pulled it together enough to speak, in a relatively normal voice.  "No, no Captain, I apologize for our behavior.  We've just been under some strain lately, I'm sure you understand."  The laughter had subsided to a few snickers from Mr. Paris, who received a slug from his wife, or his captain.

"We are trying to understand your strange ways Captain.  Do we have a deal or not?"

"Well Captain, we might if I knew what your end of the deal was.  You can't just expect us to hand over our valued supply of 'leekie-root' and that famous recipe without something in return."  Tom was jabbed again before he could spill the laughter.

"We would never think such a thing.  Our end of the deal would be to never again chase you down and fire on your ship."  Gorf said with all sincerity.

Janeway's hand rubbed over her chin, as B'Elanna seemed deep in thought.  "Hmm, that is an interesting proposal Captain, would you give us a minute to discuss the matter?"

"You have three minutes Captain Janeway, than the deal's off and we start to fire."  The view-screen went back to the outside view of his ship and the senior officers of Voyager burst out laughing again.

Harry was the first to get his voice to co-operate.  "This has got to be the strangest thing that has happened to us yet."  Janeway was wiping at the tears in B'Elanna's eyes when she turned to answer Harry.

"Not the strangest thing Harry, but damn close.  All this time they've been trying to destroy us, and all they wanted was LEOLA ROOT!"  Janeway started laughing again.

"Well B'Elanna, I think we can all safely agree to give them all the leola root they want.  This is a blessing in disguise."  Chakotay's earlier mood had lightened significantly, and even the dimples had been let out again.  "Ok Captain, it's up to you."  He turned to face the blue eyes of his dear friend and the ship's captain.

B'Elanna tapped the combadge.  "Neelix, you're a famous man, we need you on the bridge, now!"

"Famous?  I'll be right there Captain."  Neelix's jubilant voice echoed back.  

Fifteen minutes later, 70% of their leola root supply and all of Neelix's recipes had been beamed over to the Naballan ship.  Neelix wouldn't part with all of his precious stash, but the latest disaster had been averted.  Voyager and her crew never saw Gorf and his merry band of frogs again.

On to Chapter Two


	2. Chapter 2

"Me B'Elanna & Not Myself"

Chapter 2

Chakotay looked around the bridge.  "Was it really that easy?"

"Yes, apparently.  Guess luck even strikes here in the Delta Quadrant, ha?"  Janeway or rather B'Elanna said jokingly, but trying not to seem too surprised or too happy at the thought of all the leola root they had just gotten rid of.  After all, the captain had to keep up a certain façade, and right now, SHE was the captain.

"Well, it struck hard today Captain.  The loss of so much leola root is the luckiest thing that has happened to us yet."  Well of course, Tom was willing to say what B'Elanna couldn't.  She wanted more than anything to throw her arms around her husband, but it wouldn't look good for the Captain to be doing that.  It was tough, especially when her own face was staring back at her with the biggest grin of them all, but she managed to keep a straight face.  She had to get out of the same room as herself or she was going to lose it.

"Chakotay why don't you escort B'Elanna to her quarters.  I know she's dead tired after the events of the last few days, and the Doctor did order her off duty for the rest of the day, or… was that my first officer who did that?"  She added.

"What?  I am…  "  Janeway objected, but was immediately interrupted by Chakotay when he put his hand around her arm.  _There is no way in hell I'm going to be able to rest now_.

"My thoughts exactly Captain, and I was just about to suggest it."  Chakotay smiled at his friend, the one giving him a nasty sneer.  "I gave her one hour in engineering and it's been much more than that now, so it's about time."  Then he added, "And I'd really rather walk her there myself, I'm not sure she can be trusted not to make a detour."

"You're a pig Chakotay."  Janeway's thoughts betrayed her, and she couldn't help the small smile.  _I'll get you for that one_.  _Fortunately, for you, you don't know the full story right now, or you would be in even deeper trouble_ buddy!

"I'm sure we can't trust her Commander."  B'Elanna was pushing it, but couldn't help it.  She tried not to look at the death glare coming from her own features.  "I'll see you in my ready room when you get back.  There are a few things we need to discuss."

"Actually Captain…  The Doctor explicitly ordered BOTH of you off duty for the rest of the day, which means that you too are supposed to be resting right now."  Chakotay said determinedly.  "I'll walk B'Elanna to her quarters, and then I'll come back for you!"

Janeway almost laughed, and the look on her own face was priceless.  "Commander!  I am perfectly capable of judging, if that's necessary."  B'Elanna tried, she definitely didn't want to spend the rest of the day in the captain's quarters.  "And it's NOT!"

Chakotay stepped close to her and whispered "Kathryn you know as well as I do that the Doctor outranks you in health matters, and for what it's worth, I agree with him on this one.  Now do you go willingly, or do I need to call him?"

B'Elanna put her hands on her hips and tried the 'I'm the Captain' look, but it didn't faze him at all.  Janeway continued to laugh quietly.  "Fine Commander!  I'll go.  Just give me a minute to finish up here, and I'll go, _by myself thank you_.  I am perfectly capable of finding my quarters without your help.  I'm not blind you know!"  She snapped defeated.

"Good, just don't let me catch you still here when I get back."  B'Elanna growled under her breath as Chakotay, still holding onto B'Elanna's arm, guided Janeway to the lift.

***

Janeway entered the turbolift right behind Chakotay and cast an approving glance at his nice, firm behind.  _Get a grip woman_, she thought with a smile.  _What if he caught you?  Besides, if you play your cards right you might just…_

She continued to watch him with appreciation, as the lift moved to its destination.  _He may still be angry_, she thought, _but he looks very concerned_.  She felt a pang of guilt.  _It can't be easy for him.  He has no clue what's going on, and as first officer, he really should know.  Will he ever forgive me for not telling him the truth?  _She wondered, a part of her knew he would, but still…

"Chakotay… "  Janeway started gently, but was interrupted when the lift stopped and the doors opened.  _Damn short ride. _ She thought reluctantly.  _Oh, well, later_.  She gently touched his arm, indicating for him to move and flashed a smile at the two crewmembers waiting to get in.  The touch sent sparks of electricity through her body._  What's wrong with you Kathryn?_  _This is just Chakotay, your best friend and confidante, nothing more!_  Yet, a secret part of her wanted nothing more than for him to touch her in return.  _Please Chakotay_, she thought, as they moved along the corridor.  _I am sorry_.

Chakotay sensed her "discomfort" and placed an arm around her waist.  "B'Elanna, I know you don't want to acknowledge this, but it's ok to feel tired once in a while, to admit weakness."  He said gently, as he tightened his grip around her waist, determined not to let her pull away, and on learning the truth, finally.  _Something's wrong and I want to know what it is_.  He wanted to scream at her.

Janeway hesitantly leaned into him, enjoying the feeling of his arm around her waist or rather _B'Elanna's_, she thought with a chuckle.  She shouldn't allow it of course, and she didn't understand her own reaction, but somehow things just seemed different.  _What the hell am I doing?  Is it just that no one knows, who I really am or…  NO!  Better not go there_, she tried not to think of that, as she rested her head on his shoulder and moved her arm around him to draw him closer.  It felt so right, at least in B'Elanna's body.

They reached her quarters and she hurriedly punched in the code.  _Thank God B'Elanna and I remembered to exchange codes in the ready room or this would have been rather embarrassing_, Janeway smiled to herself.

She started towards the couch, but Chakotay held her back.  "What's wrong B'Ela?"  He asked with concern.  "It's just you and me now and I know something's bothering you.  We've been friends for a long time now and I'd like to help if I can.  Please!  We have always been honest with each other and I can't stand seeing you like this."

Janeway looked at him, compassion filling the dark eyes of her chief engineer.  She had wanted to explain in the lift, but somehow it didn't seem as easy now and she didn't quite know where to begin.  "Oh, Chakotay, I know you're concerned and I know you need to know, but I just don't quite know how to explain all this to you.  Hell, I can't even explain this to myself, I wouldn't believe me if I didn't know better."  They both had to chuckle, despite the frustration they both felt.

"I know these past few days must have been hell for you, not to mention for the captain… "  Chakotay said with compassion  "…but you both handled it well.  B'Elanna, you had been very badly injured, your body dead in fact.  How can anyone accept that, plus, you also had to accept finding yourself trapped within the captain's body.  I can't imagine how you both must have felt… or not killed each other."  At her expression, they both started laughing again.

"That is the miracle of all miracles Chakotay.  She is damn hard to live with."

"Hmm, well at least you got to try and live with Kathryn."  Chakotay looked down, realizing he had just put his foot in his mouth.  He knew B'Elanna thought he and Janeway should be together, hell the entire ship did, but this wasn't the time to spill his guts to his friend.  After all, he was here to help her.  He quickly spoke up again before she could comment.  "I had thought you would both feel more like yourselves now, but instead of that you just seem more crazed and more unlike yourself.  I don't understand.  Please, talk to me!"  He sat down on the couch, hoping that would make it easier for her.  She joined him, sitting very close.

"I'm sorry I didn't tell you earlier" she muttered, her voice muffled by her face being pressed to his chest, as she leaned into his strong and comforting embrace.  "I should have.  You are my 'first officer', and you needed to know, but I just didn't know how…"

"What?  Back up!"  Chakotay pulled back slightly to look at her.  "What did you mean by 'MY first officer'?"  He said slowly, not sure he wanted to hear the answer.

_Damn!  Not the best start.  _She cleared her throat and tried again.  "The procedure in sickbay to transfer B'Elanna's conscience back to her own body, didn't quite go as planned.  No one expected this to happen and the Doctor still claims not to know why it did, but it did, and somehow I ended up in B'Elanna's body and she in mine."  Janeway stuttered, almost out of breath.  "I know it doesn't make much sense, but it's the truth, and I don't know how else to put it."

Chakotay just stared at her with his mouth open, a look of shock in his eyes and not a word coming out.  He didn't know whether to laugh, scream, or run for the nearest shuttle to get the hell off this insane asylum.  Then he saw the look of pure horror in her eyes and the laughter won out.  He knew something was wrong, had even thought about this being possible, but now that it was, it was just so insane he couldn't help it.

Janeway slugged him on the arm.  "This isn't funny damnit!  I'm telling you the truth, I'm me, Kathryn Janeway, Captain of Voyager."

Chakotay pulled her to him again, hugging tightly.  "Kathryn, I know it's you, I even suspected something like this, although I never really thought it could be possible."

"Well the impossible is possible with our EMH at the controls.  This is one blunder I'm not soon to forget."  Suddenly Chakotay's smile had vanished.

"Kathryn, this blunder, can it be fixed?  Is there a chance you… are you… can he…?"  Now it was Janeway who had the smile plastered on B'Elanna's face.

"I've never seen you at such a loss for words Commander.  Yes, well… he thinks he can fix it anyway.  Tomorrow at the latest, I hope.  To be myself again will be the best thing that's ever happened to me, well one of the best."  Chakotay tightened his hold around her.

"Kathryn, you should have told me sooner, maybe I could have helped, I could have been there for you."

"I'm sorry Chakotay, you are my first officer, and friend.  It just seemed so unbelievable, so ridiculous that I didn't know what to do."

"You're right, as YOUR first officer I should have been told immediately, and as your friend, you should have trusted me.  But I'll forgive you – this once, just don't let it happen again – EVER!"

She looked at him, disbelief written all over her face.  "AGAIN?  Have you lost your mind?  I'll NEVER do this AGAIN, Chakotay.  I give you my word on that!  I'll have a headache for months after this is over, that is if the Doctor ever… "

Suddenly Chakotay couldn't hold back his laughter again.  _It's Kathryn all right, but with a bit of feisty Klingon on top.  _He was laughing so hard the tears were blurring his vision.

"I don't see what's so funny Commander."  Janeway stated tensely.  "_I REALLY DON'T_."

"I am sorry, Kathryn, but my God… it all starts to make sense now."  He just couldn't stop.  "If only you could have seen your own face earlier… "

Janeway pushed herself away from him and stood up, folding her arms.  "If I'm not mistaken Commander, you're still on duty, and I'm sure they need you on the bridge."  She was trying to sound annoyed, but she couldn't keep the note of relief and humor out of her voice.  "Dismissed!"

"Yes, Captain!"  Still laughing, he moved towards the door, then turned back suddenly.  "Kathryn, I had a thought."

She smiled back at him.  "Really!  Do tell Commander."

"Maybe we could have some fun with this."  

Her smile vanished.  "I told you, this is NOT funny Chakotay.  What in the hell are you talking about?"

"Tom and B'Elanna.  Wouldn't it be… just a bit tempting to tease them with this."  Enlightenment hit, as the smile came back to her face.  "I believe you see what I mean Kathryn."

"Just what did you have in mind?  I'm not going to stay B'Elanna one second longer than I have to.  We don't have much time to plan something good."

"The plan has already been made for us, all we have to do is play the game.  I'm supposed to have dinner with you, well the other you I guess."  He started laughing again.

"Would you knock it off and just get to the point."

"My point is… since B'Elanna won't know that I know she isn't you, I can have a bit of fun with that.  She will not know what in the world to do when I… well when I… hmm, maybe it's not a good idea."  Chakotay's cheeks were a bit flushed and the butterflies were back in B'Elanna's stomach.  She smiled from ear to ear at his discomfort.

"No Chakotay, it's a great idea.  It's about time we get back at the biggest prankster on the ship.  Tom will not be happy when he finds out it was his wife you… just what were you planning for this evening anyway?"  She asked, knowing damn well the true answer, and knowing he wouldn't say it.

"Nothing but dinner with my best friend."  He tried, but the lie was as thick in the air as pea soup.

"Whatever you say Commander, just keep that acting face on and get out of here.  You have a ship to run, and a very beautiful date tonight."

"I'll say she's beautiful, and one hell of a Captain."

"You are so full of it.  Now, get out of here before I change my mind and don't let you have your little fun with my chief engineer."

"Yes Ma'am, and you have fun too."  He tried to control his laughter before he stepped into the corridor, but found he just couldn't and so gave up.  "See you later!"

_You can count on it.  I can't wait to see you, more than you'll ever know.  _The door closed, leaving Kathryn Janeway alone with her thoughts, well almost alone.  She looked at B'Elanna's face in the mirror on the wall.  

***

 "Mr. Paris."  B'Elanna walked out of the ready room where she had been forming her plan.  She needed to get off the bridge before Chakotay came back and caught her still there.

"What is it Captain?"  He turned around in his seat to face her.

_I can't do this to you Tom.  I have to tell you the truth, but not here.  _She squared her shoulders and stood right in front of him.  "I have some reports I want to discus with you.  I need to get out of here before my first officer calls a mutiny and I lose all my pips."  _Sorry Harry, you can have one.  _She thought, then seeing the look in her husbands face, thought best to add more to her lie.  "This isn't a request Lieutenant, it's an order.  In my quarters, 15 minutes."

"But Captain, does it have to be tonight?  I need to get back to B'Elanna, she needs me."  B'Elanna was so touched, but angered that she couldn't get through to him.

"This won't take long Tom.  Besides, I know B'Elanna will be just fine, I've lived with her too you know.  Now, be there, or you'll be on report."

"Aye Captain, anything you say."  That was not what he wanted to say, but he thought better of it at the last second.  He turned back around, so he didn't have to face the Captain.  _This is bullshit!  _He pretended to fly the ship.

"Tuvok, you have the bridge, goodnight."  B'Elanna entered the turbolift, smiling all the way to Janeway's quarters.  _This is going to be fun!_

***

"Doctor to Captain Janeway."  He was hoping to get the real Captain instead of both this time.  _One Captain on this ship is quite enough._

"What is it Doctor."  B'Elanna's voice answered the hail.  The Doctor gave a bit of a sigh of relief.  Janeway was in Tom and B'Elanna's quarter deciding her next move, or better yet, how to get out of her next move.  "You better have some good news Doctor, your very existence may depend on it."

"I know that Captain, you have reminded me enough.  How many times do I need to say I'm sorry?"

"Oh I don't know Doctor, there may not be enough, 'I'm sorry's' in the universe.  Now, what good news is it this time?"

_I would have done better with Lieutenant Torres; at least she would just decompile me and get it over with.  _The poor Doctor sighed again in frustration.  "I just wanted you to know that I may be ready as soon as tomorrow morning, unless you intend to deactivate me beforehand."

"I have no intention of deactivating you Doctor, your expertise, or lack there of is all we have right now.  Just do whatever you have to and get this resolved, FAST!  I don't intend be my chief engineer one second longer than necessary."

"Understood Captain, and may I say, I'm sorry once again."  The Doctor was hoping for a bit of compassion, maybe even a hint of understanding, well he could hope.

"Yes you may Doctor, but until I'm me again, you're not forgiven.  Now quit wasting time and get back to work.  You know where I am, if you need me."  Janeway plopped down on B'Elanna's couch, holding another cup of coffee.

"Yes Captain, sleep well, and no more coffee, it's not good for B'Elanna."  The Doctor smiled at his remark.

"Doctor, just how did you know I was drinking...  never mind, just get back to work.  I know how to handle B'Elanna's stomach."  She cut he link and sat back with a sigh.  _This just keeps getting better and better.  _B'Elanna's stomach started to rumble. 

***

"Come in Tom."  B'Elanna called out when the door chime alerted her of his presence.  Tom Paris, none too happy, walked in.  He had rarely been in the captain's quarters and he didn't particularly care for it, knowing that nine out of ten times it was to reprimand him, or worse.  "You can come in Tom, I'm not going to bite you."  _Second thought, I would love to bite you and… _B'Elanna had a wicked smile to match her thought.

"I _am_ in Captain."  Tom couldn't help but think she had snapped.  _I don't blame her, but I think she's gone 'out to lunch, gone fishing, and lost in space.'  _He had to chuckle at his own dry witty humor.  "Are you sure you aren't gong to bite me?  You have a certain look about you."  _The one that B'Elanna gives me when… My God, no way!!!!!  _

B'Elanna was on him in a flash, nibbling at the tender flesh of his neck and growling in Klingon.  Tom was so shocked and caught off guard that he lost his balance and fell over the back of the chair with B'Elanna landing on top.  She never let up on her feast of flesh.

"Captain!  B'Elanna!  What the hell is this?  Have you lost your mind???"  He was doing his best to push the beast off, but she was undaunted in her task.  When the nibbling reached his mouth, he was a goner.  The struggle was over as he gave in to the kiss of life, or death in this case.

"Now, have I lost my mind Tom?"  B'Elanna purred into his ear after releasing his lips.  

"No, not your mind, but your body.  B'Elanna!  I can't believe this, how, why, are you…?"  Tom was so confused he didn't know what to do or say.  He was rewarded for his trouble with another kiss of even greater intensity.  

"Of course it's me, Flyboy.  Who else would kiss you like that?  And you better not have an answer to that one."  They both sat up, neither quite sure they had their legs back in full control yet.  The floor would do just fine for now.  

"B'Elanna, this is just a bit hard to swallow, are you all right?  How did this happen?  Does this mean that the Captain is you, I mean she is in you, I mean… oh hell what do I mean?"  B'Elanna was laughing at his attempt to get this crazy situation straight.  She had given up on trying to figure it out, but had to hand it to Tom for his efforts.

"Yes Tom, I'm ok, well as ok as one can be when one isn't one's self.  Yes, the Captain has set up house in my body, and the Doctor is to blame for this one.  Somehow, he screwed up and didn't put the puzzle together quite right."  They both laughed at her analogy of what had happened.  "Our so talented EMH said he should be able to put 'humpty-dumpty' back together again sometime tomorrow.  If not, you are married to the Captain of Voyager, and I have to live with saggy boobs and coffee."  That did it, the tension was gone and Tom burst out laughing.  

"I guess I could get used to living with the Captain, and her boobs aren't so bad, in fact…"  He was rewarded with a slug on the arm.

"Just what are you doing looking at Janeway's boobs anyway?  You're a married man Mr. Paris."

"Yup, and right now I'm married to the Captain and her… OUCH!!  Ok, ok, I'm just kidding."  Tom was rubbing at his arm.

"You're a 'pig', but you are kind of cute.  I guess I'll forgive you."  B'Elanna was all smiles, although they were not really hers.

"Forgive me!  I should be the one to forgive you.  Why didn't you tell me this before?  I've really been worried about you.  I thought you and the Captain had lost it, now I know you have."  He rolled out of the way to avoid another slug.  Getting to his feet, he was still laughing.  "This does explain the weird behavior from both of you."

"Well it wasn't like we had much choice Tom.  If we were to tell the crew what happened they would never be able to trust either of us again.  It's just too bizarre to even figure out.  I've been thrown into hell over the last few days, and this was just the icing on the cake.  I don't know any other way to handle this, but to laugh my way through.  I miss my old self, I miss my body, and I miss you!"

Tom pulled her to her feet and wrapped his arms around his wife, and it really was his wife, no thoughts of Janeway entered his mind.  "B'E, I'm so sorry you've had to go through this and that you had to face it alone.  But you wouldn't have been alone, if you'd told me.  I'm your husband, you should have trusted me Sweetheart."

"I do trust you Tom, it's the rest of the ship that has a problem with it.  You aren't exactly known for your discretion when it comes to rumors.  Besides, it was Captain's orders.  I just couldn't keep this from you any longer.  I could see how much this whole crazy mess was hurting you."

"I just didn't understand, and it's you and the captain that have us all concerned.  I just want my wife back, and I want our life back to normal.  Ok, it's never normal, but at least it's our life, yours and mine, not mine, yours and the Captain's."

"I won't argue that one, but I think I've got a plan that might make us feel a bit better, and at the very least it'll be damn fun."

A smile spread over Tom's face, as the plan unfolded.  Both thought they would have the upper hand, for a bit.  "B'Elanna, I'm not so sure how I'll pull off my part, after all, it's your body, and I've missed you."  He was rewarded with another slug.  "Would you stop that, you'll put me in sickbay, and maybe the Doc will end up putting your conscience into me." 

"Oh you are so funny.  I'm sure you can find a way to handle your new sleeping arrangement, just keep the hands and lips to a minimum, as in 'touch and die.'

"Got it, and I love what you have planned for Harry, he'll flip, and so will the captain when she finds out."  They both started laughing again, as they made the final plans for their fun.  Fifteen minutes later, Tom Paris was strolling down the corridors on his way to his quarters.  

***

B'Elanna was enjoying this way too much.  She had been running around in the Captain's quarters getting ready for Chakotay.  She felt completely at ease, having told Tom the whole story, and even better that they could have a bit of fun with their commanding officers.  _I just hope I can pull this off; I love Chakotay, but not that much.  Oh well, Tom will be with the Captain, so I may as well enjoy what I can._  She was looking through Janeway's closet, trying to find something suitable to wear.  _These clothes are awful; damn I wish I had some of my own clothes, not that they'd fit this old body.  _She was laughing to herself, as she grabbed an old tea-shirt and pair of jeans.  Running a comb through Janeway's hair, she was ready.

She replicated Chakotay's favorite soup, 'mushroom', which B'Elanna thought was disgusting.  _Give me a big fat rare steak anytime.  _She thought, as she licked Janeway's lips.  _However, tonight, it's mushroom soup and bread… gag me.  _B'Elanna was still in the process of getting the dinner ready when the door chime sounded.

"Come in Chakotay."  She sang out in Janeway's deep, sultry voice.  The door swished open and the man of the hour ambled in, with a bottle of wine and a devilish smile.  B'Elanna turned around, as Chakotay walked up behind her.

"Kathryn, you look… comfortable."  He wasn't quite expecting her to be dressed in an old shirt and tight jeans.  _B'Elanna, you just don't quite have the look of the Captain.  _Keeping that thought to himself, he handed her the bottle of wine.  "This is your favorite Kathryn, would you like me to get the glasses?"

B'Elanna took the wine, turning up Janeway's nose just a hint.  _I hate wine and I hate mushroom soup, damn… this is going to be harder than I thought.  _"Thank you Commander, but I think I'll pass on the wine tonight, but you're more than welcome to enjoy it."  She hoped that would appease him, but feared it wouldn't.

"Kathryn, aren't you feeling well, maybe we should get you to the Doctor, you've had more than your share the last few days."  Chakotay was smiling inside, but kept a concerned face on.  

"No need to worry Commander… umm Chakotay, I'm fine, I just don't want any wine tonight."  She turned away to hide her expression and finished getting the table ready.  "We are having your favorite soup though, I hope you like it."  _I think it's revolting!  _B'Elanna bit hard on that thought. 

"It does smell great, I'm sure I'll love it."  Chakotay walked to the replicator.  "Can I at least get you a cup of coffee?"  He asked, knowing how much she hated the stuff.

"NO!  I mean, no thank you.  I have had all I want for the day."  Janeway's stomach churned at the thought, making B'Elanna want to run to the other room.

"Now I know there is something wrong Kathryn.  I've never seen you turn down a nice, hot cup of coffee."  He brought the cruel concoction and stuffed it right under B'Elanna's sensitive nose.  She damn near knocked it out of his hands and ran out of the room.

_You can do this Torres.  For hell sakes get a grip.  _She willed her mind and turned Janeway's body away from the obnoxious smell.  "There's nothing wrong Chakotay, I just don't want any, ok?"

"Ok, you're the Captain."  _You wish my friend.  _He was having entirely too much fun with this.  _Just be careful, don't want to give myself away.  _Chakotay took his seat at the table and waited for the next move.

B'Elanna dished him a large portion of soup and one much smaller for herself.  _Tom, you'll owe me the biggest steak dinner your rations can buy.  _"Would you like some bread Chakotay?"

"Yes, thank you.  That isn't much soup you've got for yourself, sure you're ok, maybe, and you need some wine after all."  He was pouring himself a glass while he gave her a dimpled smile that he only used on the real Kathryn.

"I'm just not too hungry.  You know, since B'Elanna left me, I just haven't been up to eating much.  I'm sure it's got something to do with her eating like a pig in my body."  She thought she was doing a good job at convincing him, but the smile on his face led her to believe otherwise.  Thinking fast, she put her hand on his cheek and flashed him Janeway's most dazzling smile.  The one B'Elanna had caught her giving him on more than one occasion.

Chakotay loved this whole game.  "Well, if you're sure then, but let me know, if you get too tired to entertain me.  I'll just hop on out of here, so you can rest."  He continued the smile.

_What the hell is this, has the whole ship, no…  the whole Delta Quadrant gone frog crazy?  _"Just keep that butt in the chair Commander, there'll be no hopping tonight.  I'm just fine."  She looked away from his dark, piercing eyes, only to be greeted by large pieces of slimy mushrooms, swimming in her bowl.  Another flip-flop of the stomach hit.  "Let's just eat, ok?"

Chakotay was already shovelling the soup down.  "Yes Ma'am," was his reply.

B'Elanna sipped at her soup while Chakotay ate like it was his last meal in his life.  "What's the matter Commander?  Did you run out of rations and haven't eaten in a while?"  B'Elanna was starting to enjoy this.

"You should know Kathryn."  He spoke between mouths full of soup and bread.  "When I'm out of rations, it's only because I give them to you."  Janeway's ocean-blue eyes widened with B'Elanna's shocked expression.

"You do!  I mean, thank you!"  _Damn, this is not working.  _"Would you like more bread?"  She tried to recover.

"No thank you Kathryn, I think I've reached my limit, and you know damn well I do."  This was the most fun Chakotay had had in ages.  He got up and started taking the dishes over to the replicator.

Thinking fast, B'Elanna hopped up to help him.  Grabbing her own, 'hardly touched bowl,' she followed him to the replicator.  Slowly she put her arms around his waist, hugging him from behind.  "I know you do Chakotay, I was just teasing.  You're so kind to share with me."  She rested her head against his back grateful he couldn't see the smile on her face.

_B'Elanna, you are pushing it here.  Kathryn would never do this, although I sure wouldn't mind.  _Chakotay had a smile of his own to match his thoughts.  B'Elanna let go, sliding around to stand in front of him.  Tilting Janeway's head, just a bit, she smiled sweetly.  _What are you doing B'Elanna?  _He asked himself, afraid he new what the answer might be,  "What's for dessert?"  He stepped back a bit.

_You big chicken, Chakotay, just kiss her… me that is.  _B'Elanna covered her mouth to stifle the laughter, and then cleared her throat.  "Whatever you like Commander, it's on me, well you that is."

"Well in that case, just some coffee will do."

"You HATE coffee Chakotay."

"Well you don't."  He was getting to her and he knew it.

_I'm not falling for this again buddy.  _"Yes I do love coffee, and we all know it, but tonight, how about just some coffee ice-cream."  She turned back to the replicator and ordered two bowls of it.  Handing him one, they walked over to the couch and sat down.  The mocha-flavored dessert wasn't either of their favorites but they choked it down, neither willing to give up the game.  "You know Chakotay, the last few days have been very stressful on me.  Do you think I could get one of your famous back rubs that I've heard about?"  She slid a bit closer.

"Just who told you about my famous back rubs?"  He began to massage the base of her neck.  _This may not be Kathryn, but the memory of a different time is right under my fingers._

_Hmm, not bad, does feel nice.  _B'Elanna was lost in her own thoughts for a moment.  The hands moved lower down her back, sliding up under the tea-shirt, just a bit.

"Kathryn, you didn't answer my question."  B'Elanna sighed.

"What question?"

"Where did you hear about my famous back rubs?"  Her eyes popped open, and for a second, panic hit.

_Shit!  _"I… I'm the Captain, I know all on my ship."  _Good one Torres, now pay attention._  Chakotay was laughing behind her.

_You're good my friend, you're good.  _He slid his hand even further up her back, causing goose bumps to form under his more than magic touch.  B'Elanna jumped slightly and moved away.  "I didn't hurt you did I?"  He knew damn well he hadn't.

"No, of course not.  I just think it's getting late, and I'm more tired than I care to admit."  She had turned around to face him.  "Maybe we should call it a night ha?"  _Please!_

Chakotay knew he had gotten to her and he was laughing like a mad man inside.  _Yup, you're good B'Elanna, but not good enough.  _"You're right, it's getting late, and you do need to rest.  The Doctor wouldn't be happy, if he knew I'd kept you up this late already."

"The Doctor's an idiot, but I'm tired.  I'll go straight to bed."  _Not a chance!  _They walked arm in arm to the door.

"You shouldn't be so hard on the Doctor, he did his best to fix B'Elanna's body fast enough.  It was your choice to help her out."  They were standing at the door, and B'Elanna had the sudden thought to just push him right through it.

"Ya, ya, he's a great guy.  Now, would you get out of here, so I can go to bed?"  Blue eyes locked with dark-ebony ones, and for a moment, B'Elanna thought he WAS going to kiss her.

_I don't know, if I can do this.  It's Kathryn's lips, but it's my dear friend inside, just isn't right.  _He stepped back until his back was almost touching the door.

"Ok, but promise me you'll go right to bed, you do need to rest."

"I promise."  _In your dreams, that is.  _He leaned in, kissing her on the forehead and backed out the door.  B'Elanna sighed with relief when the doors swished closed.  _Now, time for plan B, I'm going to make sure my husband doesn't have too much fun with Janeway.  This is a hell of a lot harder than I thought it would be.  There is no way I'm going to trust Tom with Janeway in MY bed.  _She walked through Janeway's quarters, making plans and cleaning up the dinner table.  _Yup, I think it's time for a surprise inspection of the jefferies-tubes by the chief engineer herself.  Plus… I don't have much time to get Harry that promotion._

***

Tom walked along the corridors to his quarters with a smug smile on his face.  He was tired, but couldn't wait to see Janeway's reaction.  B'Elanna had told him everything, but only because she wanted his approval and didn't want to hurt him, well that and the fact they both love to tease.  Janeway, however, had no idea.  As far as she was concerned no one knew, even that gorgeous first officer of hers.  The smile grew wider.  She had no idea what was coming and this time they would make sure to get it right. 

He punched in the entry code and the door opened swiftly.  It was very quite, so perhaps she was already in bed.  He had hoped to find her still awake, but no challenge was too great for Tom Paris.  None.

He headed quietly for the bedroom trying not to ruin the surprise by tripping over something in the dark.  Fortunately, the starlight provided a little light and he got there without accident.

When he reached the door to the bedroom he just peeked around the corner trying to determine, if she was asleep or not.  She seemed to be, tucked comfortably on her side with a big, fluffy pillow in her arms.  He laughed quietly at the sight, and his admiration for her grew a bit more.  However, he had a mission to accomplish and he had to find out, if she was asleep or not.  He couldn't really be sure one-way or the other right now.  Would she fall asleep that easily in HIS quarters?  Not likely, but there were ways to find out.

He stood there a moment longer just looking at her.  He knew he shouldn't, because it wasn't really his wife, but she looked so beautiful, lying there in the starlight, a stray strand of hair hanging down in front of her nose, tickling her just a bit, and she kept blowing at it lightly.

***

She heard the door open, and focused all her energy on keeping the illusion of being "asleep". She hugged the pillow closely under her chin to make it seem more real, to make _her_ seem more real in this crazy mixed up nightmare.

_What are you doing Kathryn Janeway?  The Captain of a Star Ship trapped in someone else's body, lying in someone else's bed, about to sleep with someone else's husband.  Is this what too many years in the Delta Quadrant have done to me?  If I survive this night, I'll never complain about being me again, and I sure as hell won't EVER enter any of this into my logs, personal or otherwise. _ She hugged the pillow tighter, praying for a miracle and hoping she didn't kill her chief engineer's husband before the night was through.  

She lay there with her thoughts, listening to Tom moving about.  An evil smile spread across her lips, but she quickly closed her eyes and schooled her features.  Being Captain had certain advantages after all, and at this point, she wasn't above using them.

She felt him looking at her from the doorway, but managed with some effort to keep her eyes closed.  He didn't know the truth, and she couldn't help but wonder what he would do, if he found out.  _On second thought, best not to know what he would do, it wouldn't be good that was for sure. _

He came closer.  She could feel him right next to her.  He sat down beside her on the bed and lightly touched her hair.  Janeway thought she was prepared, but she almost jumped at the contact.  She felt his fingers stroke B'Elanna's hair a bit and then he reached for the lock of hair that kept falling into her face.

He touched it lovingly for a second and then stroked it back with the rest of her hair.  Tom then got up and headed for the bathroom, or so she thought.  Very slowly she looked up… yes, the bathroom.  _Oh, God… how am I ever going to get through the night?_

***

Tom headed for the bathroom and called for lights, as he went in, but didn't close the door.  He never did and realized it might make her suspicious, if she WAS awake.

He kicked of his boots and took off his jacket slowly, then the turtleneck and suddenly noticed that the angle of the bathroom mirror allowed her just a bit of a view.  Tom chuckled to himself, as he thought about what might be going through her mind right now.  He took off the rest of his clothing until he stood clad only in his boxers.  Looking down he decided to keep them on.  He would normally have taken those off as well, but that might be stretching it a bit.  Besides he kind of liked them, they were his favorite, purple, silk boxers with the cute, little, yellow smiley faces on them.  They had been just the things in the late 21st century.

He brushed his teeth, put on a splash of cologne and looked around him.  The bathroom was a mess and B'Elanna would have a fit, but he couldn't be bothered by that and right now, she wasn't really here anyway.

He turned off the light and slinked quietly towards the bed.  She was still lying on her side, having not moved even a little bit.  _Hmm_…. he pulled the covers back on his side of the bed, preparing to slide in and then sat down looking at her.  She looked so sweet, so beautiful and for a moment, he almost forgot.  He had missed her so much and had been so afraid he wouldn't get her back after the accident, and if not for this little mix-up, she would be back now.  Instead, his wife was spending the night with Chakotay, well she better not be WITH Chakotay.  The smile spread across his face, _may as well have a bit of fun while I can._

He might spend the rest of the journey in the brig, but this was sure going to be worth it.  It was not too often you got to have a bit of innocent fun with your Captain and without her knowledge no less.  A slight chuckle escaped his lips, but he stifled it quickly.  It wouldn't do for her to hear him laughing now.

He hesitated, realizing he was a bit nervous despite his usual, cocky appearance.  After all, she WAS still the Captain and he had no idea what she might do to him.  The brig almost seemed too light a punishment.  Pushing the thought away, he edged a bit closer, gently reaching out a hand to stroke her hair again.  She didn't stir, but he hadn't really expected her too, so he went a bit further and pulled the covers down a bit more, only a bit, but enough to show him that she was wearing a green, flannel pajamas, with frog slippers on her feet.

He bit back a laugh and snuggled up to her to place a sweet goodnight kiss on her cheek.  He felt her stiffen significantly and had a difficult time not bursting into laughter on the spot. 

***

Janeway dared a glance towards the bathroom and saw him standing only in his boxers.  The sight was almost too much, even for her and only years of training prevented her from giving herself away.  Only Tom Paris, her pilot and 21st century enthusiast would wear something like that.  She decided the information might come in handy, if her cocky, young pilot… besides they weren't exactly Starfleet issue…  A smug look briefly crossed her face.

She heard him order the lights off and move towards the bed.  Time for round two!  _God's, I just hope he doesn't sleep in the nude.  Please!  Keep the boxers on.  I guess I'll find out soon enough_.  She was suddenly very glad she had had the foresight to replicate herself a new and very safe pajamas, compliments of a certain chief engineer's replicator rations.  A chief engineer who might soon find herself in a great deal of trouble.  She normally preferred a silk nightgown, but tonight she would need every bit of help she could get, and besides she couldn't wait to see his expression when he found his wife clad in green flannel frog.

She felt him turn down the covers and sit down.  He turned a little and edged a bit closer, his right toenail just scraping against here bare ankle under her pajamas leg.  Then she felt him wrapping his leg around her, as he snuggled closer.  Kathryn Janeway stiffened, but tried to remain still, but the KISS did her in.  She bolted upright, screaming at the top of her lungs.

"What the hell was that?" she yelled, flying out of bed and stamping her frog-clad feet on the floor.

"What!  Where?"

"There!  Right there!  Can't you see it?"  Janeway jumped on a chair and pointed towards the bed.  She needed time to think and this seemed like her best option, or her first thought.

Tom hopped out of bed trying to keep a straight face and, trying to look genuinely interested, but he didn't see anything of course.  "I'm sorry, Love, but I don't see anything.  Come back to bed, you probably just imagined something.  I'm sure a good night's rest will make it all better."  He smiled sweetly.

Janeway wasn't giving in so easily, and she needed time to think.  "I'm not getting back in that bed until you get rid of it", she said with passion, fire burning in her eyes.

He sighed, "get rid of what?"  He bent down, and looked under the bed and decided to play along.  She was trying to buy some time, and he would give her a little more, but that was it.  "I think I see it…"

"You DO??" she exclaimed surprised.  _DAMN!  Times up, but what the hell has he found?  Well, I'll worry about that later, I've more pressing matters to worry about right now, like… how the hell do I get out of this? _

"I need a… hmm… two seconds!"  Tom said smiling sweetly at her.  "Don't worry, I'll take care of it in a flash.  Now DON'T look, it's not a pretty sight"

Tom left the room and she frowned after him.  _What the hell was going on?  _Janeway wanted to scream.

He walked through the living room towards the replicator and replicated a strange looking container.  Then he turned back and entered the bedroom.  Janeway was still standing on the chair looking after him with a quizzical look in her eyes.

Tom bent down and wriggled under the bed, making sure to look like he was making quite an effort to rid the bedroom of her imaginary monster.  He scraped the container against the floor a few times before…  "Ah-ha… got ya!"

He then dug out from under the bed, grabbed his robe, held the container close and ran out of his quarters, calling back as the door closed.  "I'll just be a second, honey, don't worry, I'll take care of it."

As the door closed, he erupted in laughter.  He just couldn't help himself, the whole situation was simply too hilarious.  The look of her flying out of bed and jumping onto that chair would have been worth several replicator rations.  He allowed himself a good laugh and only entered his quarters again when it was believable that he had gone to dispose of the hideous monster under the bed.

***

She watched him leave, but couldn't quite believe what had just happened.  Had he actually found something or was he just playing along?  Did he know something?  No, how could he?  Janeway realized she was still standing on the chair and hopped down to go sit on the bed.  She tried to think, but couldn't.  How the hell was she supposed to figure this one out?  _Well, better play along and get it over with.  Damn, B'Elanna's head is killing me.  _Closing her eyes, she lay down and waited for the next bomb to drop.

Tom stopped in the doorway and looked at her.  "Are you alright?" he asked concerned.

"Yes, thank you" she meekly answered.

He walked to his side of the bed and lay down.  This had turned out much better than he had ever expected.  Turning on his side, he leaned towards her, his feet lightly touching her in the process.  She shivered involuntarily.  It was only a little, but he noticed immediately.  _Of course, he would_, she thought.

"Are you SURE you are OK?"

"Yes, but your feet are cold and it surprised me.  Sorry," she said quietly, trying to close the subject.

"Oh, if that's all it was then... "  He leaned in and gave her a nice, sweet, husband like kiss.

Janeway jumped up for the second time that night, this time starring directly at him.  "What the hell do you think you are doing?" she yelled at him.

"Giving my wife a goodnight kiss?  I missed you," he answered tentatively, trying desperately not to laugh, for God knows what time in the past few minutes.

She looked at him, a stunned look in her eyes, and a sinking feeling in B'Elanna's queasy stomach.  _What the hell am I supposed to say now?_  She blinked several times hoping a good answer would hit her like a bolt of lightning.  "Oh, I'm sorry, guess I'm a bit more jumpy than I thought.  Maybe a bit of sleep will do me good after all, ha?"  Not the lightning answer she had hoped for, but that was all she could muster. 

"That must be it Sweetheart," he said, patting the mattress beside him.  Janeway moved back slowly, lay down, and even allowed him to give her a light kiss on the cheek.

"I'm sorry…  I don't know what's wrong with me" she tried.

"Don't worry about it, just get some sleep.  Good night."

"Good night."  _Not for me Mr. Paris_, but she kept that thought to herself.

He turned towards his own side of the bed and went to sleep, leaving Captain Janeway wide-awake in the wrong bed, the wrong quarters and most definitely beside the wrong man. 

***

_"What the hell is that noise?"  _B'Elanna walked out of the Captain's bedroom with a puzzled look on her face.  She had her little spy bag in hand, ready to sneak out and make sure her husband was as trusting as he would have her believe.  She couldn't quite pin point the growling, rumbling noise that seemed much louder in the bedroom.  "Computer, identify that noise."

"_Unable to identify, be more specific._"

"Be more specific!  That growling noise, like the damn warp core is about to breach."  B'Elanna walked back into the bedroom where the noise was louder.

"_There is a 0.52 chance of a warp core breach at this time.  Noise is coming from Commander Chakotay's quarters._"

"What!!"  She doubled over in laughter.  "That is Chakotay snoring?"

"_Unable to identify, repeat request._"

"Never mind."  B'Elanna continued to laugh, as she made her way to the door.  _Guess I don't have to worry about Chakotay catching me out of bed.  _She stuck her head out the door, checking in both directions, making sure no one was in sight.  It wouldn't do for someone to see the Captain sneaking around in the middle of the night.  _On second thought, I wouldn't blame her, if she did this every night.  How the hell can anyone sleep through that?  _She looked at Chakotay's door again, holding back the laughter.  Silently, she made her way past it and crept to the nearest jefferies tube.

She felt safer sneaking through the ship that way, as there wasn't many crewmen, who found joy in crawling on hands and knees through the bowls of Voyager.  It wasn't her favorite way either, in fact she hated it, but it was the best way for the task at hand.  _OUCH!  DAMNIT!  _She stopped crawling and sat back to look at the blood on Janeway's knee.  _How am I going to explain this one?  'Sorry Captain, I tore a hole in your knee crawling through your ship to make sure you weren't sleeping with my husband.'  Not good.  _She shined her wrist light to inspect the damage.  _Aw, she'll live, but damn these legs are hairy.  _Making her way a bit more carefully now, she made it to her destination with no further injury.

She listened closely for any sounds, and then exited the jefferies tube.  Her quarters were just around the corner.  Slowly she crept to the door, taking out her handy dandy manual door opener.  She didn't want to alert them of her presence with the sound of the door swishing open.  Quietly, she pushed the door open, just enough to slid Janeway's small frame through, then closed it just as quietly behind her.  

All seemed quiet, and it took her eyes just a second to adjust to the dim lighting in the room, not that she needed light to get where she was going.  She tiptoed like a tooth fairy far enough in, so she could see her bed.  Two bodies were under the covers.  One foot sticking out of the covers she knew belonged to her husband, the other body was her own, and it was wrapped like a 'king-cobra' around him.  

First instinct was to 'KILL', both of them, and she almost leaped on top of the piled bodies, until… she saw another foot sticking out.  This one was not her husband's; it was a frog.  _A frog slipper!  _B'Elanna slapped a hand over her mouth before the hysterical laughter could escape.  With tears filling her eyes, she noticed that her body was totally covered in green flannel, well what was visible from under the covers.  Hardly breathing, she just stood for a moment, watching something that not many wives would ever get to see.  _I dare say, no one has ever seen this before.  Watching your husband in bed with yourself, only not yourself._

Tom stirred, just a little, but it was enough to get B'Elanna to move.  She had no intention of getting caught, not now.  The second part of her plan was underway in her mind.  Revenge is sweet, no matter what form it takes.  She made it to the door, and used the same manual opener and slipped out, creeping back to the safety of the jefferies tubes where she made her way to engineering, the second part of her plan.

This time however, she didn't sneak in, but rather just walked through the doors.  There was no sense in even trying to sneak in there, because there was always people in engineering, any time, day or night.  She was the Captain, so… who would say a word about it.  She did receive a few glances, and even a comment on the injury to her knee, but she dismissed them with an 'I'm fine', and a nod, walking over to the main replicator system.  By the time Janeway found out about this, it would be too late anyway.  

With a few modifications, Harry would soon be a Lieutenant, with a shiny pip to prove it.  B'Elanna smiled with a bit of satisfaction from living through this entire nightmare.  _One good thing, and my friend Harry, deserves it.  _

*** 

Something had disturbed Tom's sleep.  He didn't quite know what, but he rubbed his eyes and turned his head to look at the old fashioned clock standing on the bedside table.  It was only 3 am, so what had awoken him?

Then he felt it… a slight movement and a nice warm feeling along his left side.  He smiled and moved his arm to place it around her, and suddenly, he remembered.  _Oh, shit!  I almost forgot.  This ISN'T B'Elanna.  Shit!  _He took a look, and sure enough, there she was, snuggled comfortably up against him.

At some point during the night, Kathryn Janeway had exchanged the pillow for him and now lay with her head resting next to his on the pillow.  One arm under her chin, the other securely wrapped around his bare chest, her left leg covering both of his and a big smile on her lips.  He stiffened.  _What the hell am I supposed to do now?  They will BOTH kill me, if they ever find out!_  He tried to disentangle himself from Janeway, but found it useless.  Each time he moved a bit, she followed, so he stopped.  _Why not enjoy it?  _He thought,_ it's not everyday you get to snuggle with your Captain, and there's nothing I can do about it now.  I've tried and I'll be safe as long as B'Elanna doesn't find out.  I sure as hell don't plan on telling her myself and Janeway… _he smiled, he was willing to bet a month's worth of replicator rations that she wouldn't tell anyone!  He placed his left arm around her again and prayed she wouldn't' kill him when she found out in the morning.

He felt her move a bit, but it was only to arrange herself more comfortably around him.  _This night has turned out better than I could have ever expected.  _That was Tom's last thought as he drifted back to sleep.

_***_

Janeway was dreaming.  She knew she was, and it was a good dream.  She was lying, snuggled comfortably in her First Officer's arms with her head resting on his bare chest.  She felt him move a bit, the warmth of his arm left her for a minute, and she missed the feeling, but he soon placed it back around her, and she sighed contentedly and tucked herself even closer to him, if that was possible.  _What a dream!_  She thought with no intention of waking up yet.

***

Tom awoke at the sound of the Doctor's first hail and hurried to answer, so as not to wake sleeping beauty.  Janeway was still snuggled up close to him and he didn't want her to wake up right now.  He rather liked his life the way it was and would do everything he could to keep it that way.  Tom quickly removed his arm and tried to move away a bit, but it proved just as fruitless as earlier.  She was just too comfortable and very stubborn. 

He reached for her combadge and asked the computer to lower the volume.  "What's up Doc?"  He asked quietly.

"Mr. Paris?  I'd like to speak to the Cap…  B'Elanna, please call her."

"Sorry, but she's still sleeping" _and I have my reasons for wanting her to stay that way a bit longer,_ he thought.

"I agree she needs all the rest she can get, and normally I wouldn't do this, but this is important", _especially for me,_ the Doctor thought.  He still hadn't forgotten the Captain's threat to turn him into a frog.  He knew she might be serious and trembled at the thought.  "Very urgent Mr. Paris!  Now, please wake her up!"  The Doctor added.  He had been working all night and thought he had finally found a solution to their problem.

Tom smiled and kept back the laugh that threatened to come out.  He had a good idea of what it was that was so important, but couldn't say anything of course, and it wouldn't do to annoy the Doctor too much either.  He still had shifts in sickbay after all.

Tom was just about to answer the Doctor when he felt Janeway stir.  _Oh!  Shit!_  He thought, but it was too late.

She was still snuggled up against him, her arm tucked tightly around him, and she was definitely about to wake up.  _DAMN!  This isn't what I planned, AT ALL!_  He looked at her, terror and mischief mixing in his eyes.  He heard her make several faint smacking noises with her lips, and then he smiled, s_o, this is how the great Captain Kathryn Janeway wakes up. _ Her eyes fluttered and she reached up a hand to remove an invisible strand of hair.  Then she turned slightly, tucking her arm more securely around him.  He was dead meat for sure.  She would have a fit and there was nothing he could do about it.

Slowly she opened her eyes fully and looked directly at his panicked stricken face, whereupon she positively flew out of bed, the past few days completely forgotten for a while.

"What the hell are you doing in my quarters?"  She screeched quietly, almost to quiet.

He started laughing hard, not smart, but what else could he do.  The sight of her in her green pajamas with her frog-clad feet was too much to behold, and he just couldn't help himself.

Of course, it didn't improve the situation any and she was beat-red and fuming when she growled "I DEMAND an explanation, Mr. Paris.  NOW!"

Suddenly she realized where she was, who she was supposed to be and what she was wearing and all the air went out of her with a huge gasp.  She heard the Doctor trying to get a word in and wondered if it was possible to save what was left of her dignity.  Finding one last breath, she choked out a response.  "Yes, Doctor, what can I do for you?"

"Could you please report to Sickbay?  I've got some information I'd like to discuss with you as soon as possible," he said trying to keep the mirth out of his own voice.  The EMH could just imagine the scene, taking place in the Paris' quarters.  _Oh to be a fly_, he thought, _but I'm only a hologram and very soon to be non-existent, if this doesn't work._

"I'm on my way", she said forgetting her present attire and stormed towards the door.

"But Captain…"  Tom called after her, picking up one frog slipper.  However, the door had already closed, and she was a good way down the corridor before she noticed the starring faces of the crewmen she passed and realized she was in green pajamas and one frog slipper.  

_"Shit!"  _She grumbled under her breath.  She had been so embarrassed to wake up in… she had completely forgotten.  _Well, the embarrassment falls on you B'Elanna, so what do I really care?_  A slightly smug smile appeared, until she remembered something else.  _Oh God!  It WASN'T a dream, it was real and it was with my arrogant pilot no less.  How will I ever live this down? _ Fortunately, Chakotay didn't know, and THAT was her only comfort.

On the Chapter Three


	3. Chapter 3

"Me B'Elanna & Not Myself"

Chapter 3

_"The time is 06:00 hours",_ the computer's wake-up call announced none too gently.

Harry Kim groaned and turned on his other side.  _A bit of music playing softly in the background would have been nice for a change instead of that cold voice of the computer_, he thought sleepily.  Being on Alpha shift with the "big guys" was great, and he normally didn't mind getting up so much, but 06:00 hours was a bit too early, even for Harry.

_"The time is 06:10 hours."_

To make matters worse Tom had cancelled their evening at Sandrine's yesterday, because he wanted to be with B'Elanna.  Harry understood his reasons of course, but he was still a bit disappointed.  The evening had had a special meaning to him, so Tom and B'Elanna had planned it for him a while back, and he'd really looked forward to it.  _Couldn't he just have brought her_, he thought, _I would have loved seeing her myself_.  He knew he was being a bit unreasonable, but he just couldn't help it, and he DIDN'T want to get up.  He started to drift back to sleep.

_"The time is 06:20 hours."_

"SHUT UP!"  Harry snapped at the computer and flung the nearest object he could reach at it, wherever IT might be.  _Damnit!  SHUT UP!  Just a bit longer_, he thought, but of course, the computer didn't care.

He knew he had to get up or he would be late for his duty shift, but he didn't really care right now.  The covers were much too comfortable and he was tired.  It had been a long night.  After Tom had cancelled, he had decided to spend the evening working and had ended up with Seven, working until 1 am.  It was his own damn fault, he knew that, but he was still pissed off at having spent the evening like that, especially since no one ever really appreciated his efforts.  Oh, the Captain appreciated it or so she said, but he was still an ensign, wasn't he?  Therefore, her words seemed rather empty to him this morning.

_"The time is 06:30 hours."_

"For crying out loud, give a man a break.  Ok, ok, I am coming!"  He yelled to the empty room, as if he actually expected a response.  "Satisfied?"  He added sarcastically though sarcasm wasn't really his thing.  Normally, he was very well behaved, perhaps too much so.

Harry dragged himself out of bed, 'the wrong side of the bed' and walked towards the closet to get a fresh uniform.  Then he entered the bathroom to wash and dress.  He knew he would have to hurry, if he wanted a bit of breakfast, since he had to be on duty at 07:30 hours, but the extra minutes under the covers had been worth it.  _Well worth it, _the sonic-shower hummed to life.

20 minutes later, and slightly more awake, he left the bathroom fully dressed and almost ready for duty, when he spotted the shattered remains of the frame holding the picture of his parents.  _Well, now I know what I threw at the wall. _ A few tears welled up in his eyes and he blinked to keep them back.  _"I'm sorry Mom", _he whispered softly, holding the remains of the picture to his heart, his voice thick with emotion_.  I'm so sorry; I'll fix it first thing when I get off duty, definitely the wrong side of the bed Buster.  _He carried that thought with him while he cleaned up as best he could and placed the picture back on his bedside table.  

With even less bounce in his step now, he headed towards the replicator to get a glass of juice.  It was a little morning ritual he had.  At first, he had done it rather irregularly, but somewhere along the way, it had changed, and he now simply couldn't leave his quarters in the morning without having had a glass of freshly squeezed orange juice, or fake replicated orange juice.

Harry gave his order and waited for the juice to appear, but instead of a glass of juice, out popped a small rectangular case sitting on top of a pad.  _What the hell is that?_  _My replicator got up on the wrong side of the bed too I see._  He smiled with the thought, as he picked up the box.

"OH MY GOD!"  He screamed excitedly after opening the box, it slipped through his fingers and onto the floor.  _I can't believe it!  This has got to be one of Tom's dirty, rotten jokes. _ Harry quickly picked it up to examine its contents more thoroughly.  _I must be dreaming_, _and I'm going to kill Tom,_ he thought shaking his head, but no… it was still there.  Sitting on the red silk pad within the box was a single pip and the pad had a note saying… 

**Congratulations Harry – you have earned it! ****Now get your butt to the bridge… Lieutenant! ****Captain Janeway **

Harry picked up the pip with shaking hands and studied it more closely.  _Looks like the real thing, but no way to really tell.  _He then looked more closely at the note.  Nothing else was on it, not really much to go on.  _How will I know for sure?  Maybe this isn't the Captain, but who else would do it this way?  The Captain's full of surprises, so just maybe it's REAL! _ He thought about it a bit longer and couldn't come up with a better explanation, so he tried to fix it to his collar, but his hands kept shaking and it was very difficult.  However, he finally succeeded and stood back in front of his mirror to admire his "new look", a broad smile on his lips.

_This is going to be a good day after all_, he thought, as he passed through the doorway on his way to breakfast.  _I can't wait to thank Captain Janeway, and to show Tom and B'Elanna.  I'm a LIEUTENANT!!!  _He wanted to shout to the entire ship, but thought better of it and just kept the smile on his face.  

***

B'Elanna burst through the sickbay doors at warp nine, almost knocking the Doctor off his feet.  Captain Janeway had never been more excited to come to sickbay than she was at that moment.  _Time to get me back, and not a second too soon.  _She thought as she looked down at five wiggling toes and one frog smile.  The sight brought another thought to mind.  _Yes… I think I will.  _Janeway smiled at the Doctor.

"Well Captain!  Over sleep did we?  I bet my husband kept you up all night with his charm."  B'Elanna called out from her seat on her biobed.  "You seem to be missing something Captain, or rather I seem to be missing something."  She pointed to her one bare foot.  Janeway looked from the Doctor, to herself and then down to B'Elanna's one frogged foot.

"Very funny Lieutenant.  In case you haven't noticed, it wasn't me running through the ship in green pajamas and a frog slipper.  You may have some explaining to do after you are you again."  She walked closer to the biobed and saw what the Doctor was doing.  "What the hell did you do to me Lieutenant?"  The Doctor was finishing up with the dermal regenerator over Janeway's knee.

"Let's just say, you may have some explaining of your own to do, and you need to shave your legs Captain."

Janeway's next comment was cut off by the Doctor "as good as new, nothing to be worried about."  He was hoping to ease the tension and anger just a bit.

"Well, let's just hope you do the same with your next task.  A skinned knee I can live with.  A half Klingon engineer, I cannot."

"It's no picnic being you either Captain.  My question is… how do you get any sleep at night?"

"What are you talking about?  I get plenty of sleep, unless I have to sleep with your husband."  

"Looked like… never mind."  _Almost blew it Torres, be careful.  _

"Looked like what?"  Janeway was already up on her own biobed and the Doctor was checking her vital signs.

"Do you two want to hang around here and argue all morning, or do you want to be put back together again?" 

"That would depend on what you have in mind Doc.  I'm not up for another surprise.  Hell this time I could wake up as Tuvok.  Just imagine, a logical Klingon."  B'Elanna joined herself in laughter.

"No Lieutenant, I can't imagine, the thought alone is overwhelming."  Janeway said, but felt like she was talking to herself, which she was in fact, in an 'insane' kind of way. 

"Can't you both show a little mercy, I said 'I WAS SORRY', now get undressed Captain, and lose the frog."  The poor Doctor was beside himself.

Janeway rolled B'Elanna's eyes at him.  "So tactful aren't we?  My frog and I won't forget that."  The Doctor's only reply was a surgical gown shoved in her hand.  B'Elanna started laughing.  Janeway took the gown and turned the evil eye on her own face.  _This better be the last time I have to look at myself through someone else's eyes.  _

***

Less than two hours later, the Doctor was finished.  He had two patients on two biobeds with two conscious minds and he prayed they were in the right bodies.  Everything had gone smoothly, and he had checked, double-checked; even triple-checked every little minute detail.  If something went wrong this time, it wasn't going to be his fault.  The Doctor stood between his two patients, holding the hypospray that would wake both sleeping beauties.

_Wish I could deactivate myself first and ask questions later.  _His thought was interrupted by the comlink.

"Chakotay to sickbay."  The Doctor was saved by the voice, the hypo didn't move.

"Yes Commander.  I was about to contact you and Lieutenant Paris."  A holographic lie, he didn't want to talk to anyone, not yet.

"How are they doing?  Did it go alright?"  Chakotay's voice held a note of panic.

"As far as I can tell, everything went fine.  Their vital signs are both normal, and their brainwaves are the same."  He didn't elaborate any further.

"Doctor, are they awake yet, are they themselves?"  

"I was about to wake them when you contacted me.  Give me a few more minutes, and I'm sure Captain Janeway will contact you, if not... please don't reactivate me until we reach the Alpha Quadrant.  Doctor out."  

The hiss of the hypospray hit Janeway's neck first, and then moved over to B'Elanna.  _This could be my last moment of existence.  _The Doctor stepped back a bit, as two pairs of eyes started to flutter open.

"Doctor!"  _Ok, that is a good sign, I sound like me.  _Captain Janeway dared a glance at her hand, and then over to the biobed next to her.  _B'Elanna, _her chief engineer's dark eyes met her own.

"Captain, Lieutenant?"  The Doctor looked from one to the other, total dread in his holo-expression.  

"Captain?"  B'Elanna spoke up first.

"B'Elanna!"  Janeway said through a smile.

"Doctor!!!"  They both said at the same time, as the Doctor let out a breath, he couldn't have been holding in the first place.

"We're ME... I mean I'm me... I mean, YES!!!"  B'Elanna's exclamation wasn't exactly a Starfleet response, but it was just what the Captain herself was thinking.

Among all the excitement, the Doctor went about his duties checking and rechecking everything, making sure they WERE in fact themselves.  He was pleased with his work, even if no one would ever agree with him.  This was a miracle feat that no one would ever read about in a Starfleet medical journal.  He knew that Captain Janeway would forbid this little titbit of life in the Delta Quadrant to ever reach the ears of the all mighty Starfleet command.  He didn't really blame her, but still... _What an amazing medical breakthrough.  _He praised himself silently.  

"Doctor, with your permission, I'd like to get out of here.  I do have a ship to run after all."  Janeway was sitting on the edge of her biobed, bare feet dangling.  B'Elanna was doing the same.

"Just a few more small tests Captain, then you are free to leave, but be warned, both of you, you do need to take it easy.  The next few days will be an adjustment for both mind and body, you have to rest, as much as possible.  Not that either one of you will listen to me anyway."

"Sure we will Doc, don't we always?  Besides, we aren't mad at you anymore, right Captain?"  B'Elanna asked with an evil glint in her eye.

"Absolutely Lieutenant, no worries Doctor."

"Why don't I feel the least bit comforted?"  The Doctor was not convinced by their show of forgiveness.

"I don't know Doctor, maybe a bit of guilt on your part?"  Captain Janeway was doing her best to sound sincere.

"That must be it Captain, or maybe I'm just a bit worn out myself, these last few days have been long and trying."

"Yea, tell us about it."  B'Elanna grumbled slightly.

"Captain, if it's all the same to you, I think I'll deactivate myself for awhile.  I've been online for almost a week non-stop and we could all use the break."

"I couldn't agree more Doctor and I think that's an excellent idea.  Don't call us, we'll call you."  That last line just slipped out, well maybe fell out of Janeway's mouth.

***

A few minutes later, the Doctor was gone and the two 'separate' friends were ready to leave sickbay as themselves.

"Captain, just two things before we leave."  B'Elanna spoke after clearing her throat.  "I want to thank you again for saving my life, and for putting up with me.  I know I'm a pain in the ass, but I do think of you as my dearest friend on this ship."  B'Elanna put her arms around her captain and both enjoyed the close contact between friends.

"B'Elanna, I know I've complained a lot, but I would do it again if need be, I hope you know that."  They both smiled.  "But God knows, I hope I don't have too.  You are hard to live with and within."  The laughter rang through sickbay, as they both headed for the door.

"Captain, aren't you forgetting something?"  B'Elanna pointed to the small table by the side of Janeway's vacated biobed.  "Your frog slipper!"

"Hardly Lieutenant."  Janeway looked down at her feet, then back over to the lone slipper.  "Not my size, the honor is all yours."

***

"Janeway to Chakotay" 

"Yes, Captain…?"  Chakotay answered, feeling slightly apprehensive and a bit unsure as to whom he was talking to.  _Who knows what Doc might have done this time_, he thought_._

Janeway recognized his tone of voice and held back her laughter.  _He's not sure WHAT to think anymore.  _She and B'Elanna had just split up and she was standing in the middle of one of Voyager's corridors, surrounded by crewmembers, who fortunately didn't know how close to insanity the Captain had come.  "Where are you Commander?"

"Astrometrics.  Seven had a problem she needed me to look at.  Are you alright Captain?  I mean, you are, captain, right?"

"I'm doing fine, and what do you think?"  She didn't give him time to answer before continuing.  "I'm headed towards the mess hall to speak with Neelix.  Apparently he's had a minor breakdown."  _At least I hope it's minor_, Janeway thought.  "Tom called me a minute ago telling me Neelix has ensconced himself behind the counter in the mess hall with a huge bag of leola root, screaming repeatedly, I might add, that we are 'just out to take it all from him'."

"Do you want me to take care of it?"  Chakotay asked none too eagerly.  _Dealing with crewmembers gone insane really is the first officer's job_, he thought, _but Spirits please spare me – just this once!_

"No, Commander.  I'd better take care of this one myself, and besides it'll be rather… nice… doing it myself… as myself.  It shouldn't take too long though, so could you meet me in the ready room in say… 20 minutes?"  _Please say yes_.  She begged silently.

"Of course Captain.  It's good to have you back", he spoke sweetly, which earned him a strange look from Seven.

"Thank you Commander, it's good to be back", Janeway responded with laughter in her voice.  _Oh, boy is it good to be back.  I'm ME again!!!_

"And Captain…" he began, wondering if it might be pushing it a bit.  "Good luck!"

"Why THANK YOU Commander."  Janeway responded sarcastically, but with undeniable laughter.  "Janeway out."

"I didn't know the Captain was missing", Seven commented, as he turned back towards her.

"What?  Oh… that!"  _Think Chakotay, THINK!_  "It's nothing, just a… joke between the Captain and me, you wouldn't understand."  _Ha!  You don't know shit, and I'll be damned, if I'm going to tell you.  You would NEVER understand_, he thought laughing inside at her expression.  "Ok Seven, we've got another 15 minutes and then I have to go to meet the Captain, so I suggest we continue without further delay."

*** 

Janeway entered the mess hall and found it deserted except for Tom, who stood close to the counter and was trying to talk Neelix out of there.

"Neelix, for heaven's sake come out!  No one wants to steal your leola root," she heard Tom say.

"I don't believe you Lieutenant!  You are all out to get it, but you can't have it!  It's MINE – all mine, and I am not going to let you destroy it, so GO AWAY!"  Neelix immediately responded with passion.

"Gentlemen!  What seems to be the problem here?"  Janeway asked a bit loud, as she reached them.

"Well, Captain we were all just sitting here having a late breakfast, when Neelix suddenly entered, dragging this huge bag behind him", Tom explained.  "His face was red and…"

"Lieutenant!"  Janeway broke in.

"Oh… ok… well… he dragged himself and the bag behind the counter and started threatening anyone getting too close with his spatula, and…" Tom looked at Neelix again then continued,  "accusing us of stealing his leola root and told us to get the hell away from him or he would… just as he did when you first entered a minute ago."

"Ok Tom.  I'll handle this from here.  You're supposed to be on duty, right?  Janeway said gently.

"Yes, but are you sure Captain?"  Tom wasn't sure it was a good idea.  _Neelix has finally lost it_.  _Just when we have our captain and my wife back to normal, we lose one more._

"Quite sure Lieutenant!  Now get on it."  She nodded towards the doors, and then knelt down to Neelix, trying to establish eye contact.  "Neelix talk to me.  Please!"

A series of words flowed from Neelix's mouth, to fast to be understandable.

"Neelix!  I promise - we'll stop at the next planet we come across and get you a new supply.  A big one!  How about that?"  Janeway tried unsuccessfully.

"…but that's just it Captain!  There isn't anymore out there!  We have passed all the sectors where leola root grows, and you know that!!"  Neelix was not about to be put off that easily.

Out of the corner of her eye, Janeway caught Tom's smirking look at the idea of no more leola root, and she had to fight hard not to look too pleased herself.  Tom caught her look and backed out the door before he got in even more trouble.

_Yup, the Captain is back and I'm out of here.  _Tom continued to snicker, as he walked down the corridor.

Fifteen minutes later Janeway left the mess hall, irritated and extremely frustrated.  Neelix was acting like a baby about this whole thing, still pouting with bag in hand.  _What the hell is wrong with him_?  Her annoyance with him was getting to her.  _How do you do it Chakotay?  These daily life situations are not my strong suit, although I'll admit, this is one for the books as well.  _Minutes later the turbolift deposited Janeway on the bridge 

***

No sooner had she stepped off the lift, than she was bombarded by a flying Lieutenant.  He had attached himself around Janeway's neck, seemingly on a permanent basis.  "Captain!  Thank You!"  The only, highly vocal response from her new necklace.

"Harry!  What in the hell are you doing?"  Captain Janeway managed to choke out before the hug tightened even more.  "Have you lost your mind?"  She tried to free herself, unsuccessfully.

Tom and Chakotay were in fits of laughter, although Chakotay had no idea what was wrong with Ensign Kim.  Tom was the only benefactor of this ridiculous situation.

"I am so happy, but I never expected… Thank you so much, Captain!!!"  Harry continued, oblivious as to where he was and what he was doing.  At that point, Tuvok stepped over to them with a more than determined look about him.  This was by all means a breach of ship security; well at least it looked that way to him.  He attempted to pull Harry off of his Captain, but she waved him away with a look that said, 'it's ok, I can handle this,' and so Tuvok stepped back, slightly.

"What are you talking about Harry?"  Janeway asked exasperated.

"As if you didn't know, Captain.  I'm just so happy I don't know what to say."  Harry let up on his death-grip hold of her and stepped back slightly.  He received an approving look from Tuvok.  "I just never expected…"

"What are…"  She noticed something a bit different; Ensign Kim was now Lieutenant Kim.  Janeway stood with the half finished sentence and turned her glare on her pilot.  Harry followed her gaze, a bottomless-pit feeling in his stomach. 

"Lieutenant Paris!  How dare you…"

"Hey, don't look at me Captain, I was with you last night."  _Oops!  Now I did it.  _Tom swallowed a gulp of air, Chakotay was still laughing, Tuvok looked shocked, well, as shocked as he could.

Poor Harry didn't know what to think, other than he was gong to kill Proton with his bear hands.  Janeway was a breath away from committing murder herself, but fortunately for Tom, she glanced back at Harry and saw the utter shock and hurt in his dark eyes.

"Tom!  If you had anything…" Harry growled, barley loud enough to be heard.

Janeway spoke up before it was too late.  _I'll kill you later Paris.  _She locked her eyes with Tom's.  "How dare you spoil the surprise?"  Tom's jaw dropped open.  "I told you to keep Harry off the bridge until I could get up here, now the whole thing is ruined."  For a flyboy, he caught on fast.

"I'm sorry Captain, I totally forgot.  That thing with Neelix was uppermost in my mind.  Please forgive me?"  He was pouring on the sap.

_Oh, you are good Paris, but not good enough to save your scrawny neck.  _"Well, there's nothing we can do about it now."  She turned back to Harry.  "Lieutenant Kim, I wanted to be here to welcome you on the bridge in the proper way."  She stepped back, straightened her uniform and stood at attention, staring right at Harry.  "Lieutenant Harry Kim on the bridge."  Her smile broke out and it was real, then the cheering section started, consisting mainly of Tom Paris with a bit of Chakotay thrown in.

The smile was back in Harry's heart and he wanted to throw his arms around his Captain again, but thought better about it after seeing the look on Tuvok's face.

"Congratulations buddy."  Tom slapped him on the back.  "I'm sorry I messed it up for ya."

"Nothing was messed up pal, I'm just so surprised is all."  He turned back to Janeway, "and the way you did this Captain, very unique, thank you."

_Just how did I do this?  _The question was silent, as she rubbed at her neck where Harry had been attached.  "I must say your method of thanking me was also quite unique."  She continued to smile.

"I'm sorry about that Captain, won't happen again."  Harry was touching his new pip, just to make sure it was still there.

"So, Harry!"  Chakotay to the rescue.  "Some of us have been left in the dark here.  Just how did Captain Janeway give you the pip?"

_Commander, just one more reason why I love you.  _She continued to smile at Harry.  "Go ahead Lieutenant, may as well tell them."

After hearing the story, Janeway had to admit it was an ingenious idea, and she knew just who to thank for it.  "Well, I think the party is over, let's get back to work, shall we?"  Everyone walked to his or her station; even Chakotay took his seat next to Janeway.  Without removing her gaze from her pilots back she spoke softly.  "Commander, would you please join me in the ready room?"

"Of course Captain."  They both stood up to leave, Chakotay going first.  

Janeway stepped up behind Tom and whispered in his ear.  _"You and B'Elanna are in so much trouble. _ She followed her first officer to the ready room.  Before entering, she glanced back at Harry.  "Lieutenant Kim, you have the bridge."  She gestured for him to take the command chair.

"Yes Ma'am."  He almost skipped to his seat.

"Captain, may I remind you that the Doctor has not yet cleared you for duty."  Tuvok spoke up.

"Not to worry Commander, the Doctor and I reached an understanding.  I'm quite sure he won't mind, if I spend a short time working on reports and such."  She kept that last such all to herself and walked into the ready room.

***

"Coffee, black!"  Janeway ordered from the replicator.  "Chakotay?" 

"Tea, please", he said moving towards her, smiling.  _She's back!_  He thought with joy.  _She's definitely her again!_  He would never admit it, but he HAD feared something might go wrong and… _In the Delta Quadrant, you just never know for sure_.

She lifted both cups and moved to sit on the couch.  "Please sit Chakotay", she said patting the seat next to her and handing him his tea.

"Are you alright Kathryn?"  He asked sitting down.

"I AM."  She reached for his hand, and rested hers gently over his.  "I'll have a headache for the next 30 years, but I'll live with it.  It's nice to see me in the mirror, and only me."

"I have been worried about you Kathryn, you have no idea just how much."  He tried that gorgeous smile on her, _fit like a charm._  He was rewarded with her own smile melting his heart.  _Kathryn, welcome back.  _He looked lovingly at her with his silent thought. 

She gave his hand a squeeze.  "So… tell me about last night, did you have fun?"

"Oh…  YES!  You should have been there…"

"Wish I had been!  Believe me!  I wanted nothing more."  Janeway whispered, looking at him, her eyes burning with passion.  "Instead I had to spend the night with Tom…  Well, at least I was smart enough to replicate nice, safe pajamas – 'sure to ruin the mood' or so I hoped."

"Yes… heard… that", he could hardly get a word out.  The image of her running to sickbay wearing nothing but her green flannel pajamas and her new frog slipper was simply too much.  "I only wish I had been there to see it."

She smacked him on the arm.  "Hey, maybe I should have taken a picture for you, hmm?"

"Maybe."  He couldn't control his laughter with the image in his mind.  He received a dirty look for his efforts.  "I'm sorry, but I can just imagine you…"

"Would you…  Stop!  Now, tell me about your dinner with B'Elanna.  That's an order!"

He did and they talked and laughed like old times for quite some time, the sound of their laughter filtering onto the bridge.

"Please stop Chakotay.  I can't breathe!"  She was laughing too hard.  

"Ok, ok, no more funny story, but you have to admit, they did get you, well us back.  Tom and B'Elanna are a match for any game we could think up.  Besides, Harry deserved that promotion, even if Starfleet doesn't agree."

"No kidding, but I didn't know what to do when Harry was stuck around my neck like a leach.  I thought the Doctor might have messed with his conscious mind, maybe switched him and Neelix."

"Speaking of Neelix, did you manage to calm him down?"

"Commander, I just don't have your touch.  He's a bit calmer, but I almost had to threaten him with the brig, if he didn't stop his ranting, but he's still upset.  He thinks we gave away all the leola root on purpose."

"We did."  Chakotay couldn't help it.  He received another burst of laughter.

"The opportunity was just too great, what else could we do?"  They both continued to laugh.  No one on Voyager would miss the stuff but the chef himself.  "Would you please talk to him, I don't think I got through?"

"Sure, for you I'll give it a try.  Is there anything else I can do for you?"  

_Oh yes Commander, but not now.  _Her thought didn't match her words.  "Would you have dinner with me tonight?"

"Would love too, your quarters or mine?"  He replied with a smile.

"My treat, so my quarters say 19:00 hours, ok?"

"Hmm… how about I bring the food and you supply the wine?  I'm not sure I'm brave enough to face your… tonight."  He was smiling, but the statement still earned him a smack on the arm and then her face changed.  Out came the hurt puppy eyes.

"Please Chakotay!  I really want to do this.  Just this once, please!"  She begged, giving him another batch of the puppy eyes, just to sweeten the plea.

_How the hell am I supposed to withstand that look?_  He thought.  "Ok", he said getting up and moving towards the door.  "I'll bring the wine then, and you owe me big time for the Neelix thing."  He winked at her, and turned to the door.

"I know and I intend to pay you back, interests and all.  19:00 hours, and don't be late."  _Now on to something even more rewarding, well for now._

***

Captain Janeway was on her way to sickbay, not paying much attention to where she was going, too lost in thought with her plan.

"Good evening Captain."  Janeway almost ran smack into Naomi.  I haven't seen you for a few days Captain, I guess you've been pretty busy ha?"  Janeway gave the young girl her biggest smile.

"I'm never too busy for you Naomi, what can I do for you?"  She noticed the padd in Naomi's hand.

"Nothing, I was just on my way to sickbay to give the Doctor this report he wanted me to do.  I've had it finished for a while, but he's been very busy saving B'Elanna and stuff." 

_Damn, glad I almost ran into her then, I do not need to try and explain what I will be doing to in sickbay.  _A slight pang of guilt hit Janeway, just a slight one.  She kept the smile on her face.

"Yes, he's been busy Sweetheart, and I was just about to go give him a hand with something.  How about I give him the report for you?  I'm sure he'll be happy to take a look after we finish our business." _ Please don't make me stretch the truth any further._

"Are you sure Captain, I can take it to him myself?"

"I'm quite sure Naomi, I'm going there anyway."  Janeway put a reassuring hand on Naomi's shoulder, causing her to smile brightly.  She would do anything her captain and mentor asked of her.

"Ok."  She handed Janeway the padd.  "Just tell him to call me when he's ready."  She started to skip down the corridor.

"I will Naomi, and tell your mom hello from me."  Janeway turned towards sickbay.

"I will, bye Captain."  She heard the response from down the hall.  With the padd in hand, Janeway entered sickbay.

Everything was quiet and the Doctor was still offline.  _Perfect!  _Captain Janeway walked over to the computer, glancing at the lone frog slipper still sitting on the chair.  _I even have a model.  _She got to work on her plan.

Minutes later, she was so engrossed in her task that she didn't hear the door swish open, or the quiet footsteps of her visitor.  "Captain!  What are you doing?"  B'Elanna Torres yelled a bit too loud, just for fun.  Janeway almost jumped right out of her skin, which would be bad since she just got back in it a few hours earlier.

"B'Elanna!  Why are you sneaking up on me?  You scared the hell out of me."  Janeway was trying to get her pounding heart under control.

"I'm not sneaking, and the question should be, what are you doing?"  B'Elanna was trying to see over Janeway's shoulder, just to get a peek at what she was up to.

"None of your business Lieutenant, and just why are you here?"  Janeway tried the evil glare, but it didn't work.  "Surely not to thank the Doctor."

"I might, but if you must know, I came to get your… my slipper.  Thought I'd have a little fun with Tom, if you don't mind."  B'Elanna had distracted the Captain just enough and while she was laughing and looking towards the slipper, B'Elanna managed to get a peek at what she was doing.  "You're reprogramming his holomatrix."  B'Elanna started laughing.  "You wouldn't dare!"

"Oh, I would dare, and I will also dare to toss your butt in the brig, if you even breathe a word of this.  Not to mention the fact that that is exactly where you and Tom belong for what you did with Harry."  B'Elanna folded her arms, looking very hurt.

"I don't know what you are talking about Captain."  She tried.

"Cut the crap Lieutenant, the entire ship knows that I gave Harry a promotion, and since I wasn't me, it must have been my evil twin."

"Evil!  Who's the evil one here?  What you're planning isn't very Starfleet, Captain, but it's damn funny."  B'Elanna couldn't help adding.

"Well, Starfleet isn't here are they?  Besides, I think this comes from hanging around you too much… literally hanging."  Janeway smiled.

"Picked up a few good traits did ya?"  B'Elanna started laughing again, causing Janeway to do the same.

"A few, but most I can do without, like sleeping with your husband."

"You'll do without that one.  I don't want to ever catch you in bed with my husband again."  _Shit, didn't mean to say that one._

"Excuse me!  Care to explain that one Lieutenant?"  Janeway was trying to sound mad.

"Umm… No, but I'll admit to giving Harry the pip, and I promise not to squeal on you about turning the poor Doc into a… what are you turning him into?"  Janeway glanced over at the slipper, and B'Elanna followed her gaze.  "NO WAY!  You wouldn't?"  She burst out laughing, almost doubled over in hysterics.

"I did, all that's left is deciding how long to leave him like that."  Janeway couldn't help laughing a bit with her chief engineer, and it felt good to be doing that as herself.

"You're crazy Captain, I love it!"  B'Elanna was wiping at the laughter in her eyes.

"Glad you approve, now keep your mouth shut, and maybe I'll forget about the brig."

"Deal."  B'Elanna helped Janeway with the finishing touches to the Doc and they set the computer to change him back in case of any emergency and after a 24-hour period.  "Well Captain, it's been fun, but I have a date with my husband, got to go."

"So do I Lieutenant, not the date with your husband, but with Chakotay."  They started walking towards the door.

"It's about damn time too.  Couldn't be happier for both of you."

"B'Elanna, it's just dinner, not a marriage proposal."

"Hey, one dinner leads too…"  Janeway tapped her on the arm.

"Aren't you forgetting something?"  She pointed to the frog slipper they had walked past.

"Thanks, can't forget the whole reason I came here."  She ran back to grab the slipper.  "Got to hurry, only have one hour before Tom is off duty."  With smiles from ears to ears, they left sickbay and the Doctor to a rude awakening.

***

Tom Paris had just enough time before he was expected home for his nice romantic evening with his wife.  He just had one quick stop to make.  "Hey Doc."  Tom looked around sickbay, but there was no Doctor in sight.  He had come in just to thank him for saving B'Elanna, twice.  Secretly, he really liked the Doc, but he would never admit to it.  "Computer, activate EMH."  When he didn't appear; Tom tired again.  "Computer, activate the EMH."

_"Emergency Medical Hologram is online."_

"Where?  I don't see him."  Tom was looking around, when he heard a strange noise, like a croaking sound.  Before he could make sense of it, something leaped onto his shoulder.  "What the hell!!!!"  He plucked a rather large frog from his right shoulder, a frog with a holo-emitter and a very small Starfleet uniform jacket on.  "DOC???"  Tom looked into the big frog-eyes, and he received a long tongue lashing for his efforts.

"Mr. Paris!  If this is some kind of a joke to pay me back for what happened to B'Elanna, it's NOT FUNNY!  I demand that you turn me back to myself, NOW!"  Frog Doc screamed, but with a bit of a croak to it.

There wasn't a power in the entire universe that could have stopped Tom Paris from laughing hysterically.  He almost dropped the Doc, as tears filled his eyes and he tried to gain some control of his laughter.  The Doctor started hopping up and down in Tom's arms, trying to get his attention, and Tom finally managed to choke out a few words between the laughter.  "I didn't do this Doc, I swear!"

"Then who did???"  Frog Doc hopped onto the computer.  "I want this insidious cruelty fixed NOW!"  For a frog, he had a pretty good pair of lungs, and his green frog-cheeks turned slightly red, as enlightenment struck.  "CAPTAIN JANEWAY!  She did this to me."

Tom had plopped into the nearest chair, as he was laughing too hard to even stand on his feet.  "Captain Janeway?  She wouldn't do this Doc, would she?"

"She WOULD and DID, and probably had some help from your vicious Klingon wife, and after everything I did to save both their lives."  The frog was fuming.

"Doc, first off, B'Elanna isn't vicious and secondly… this is damn funny, whoever the prankster is.  My hat's off too them."  Paris was in full laughter again.  The Doctor was pacing back and forth on top of the computer.  "Speaking of hats Doc, I like yours, does it come in my size?"

"SHUT UP Lieutenant!  Are you going to help me or not?"  The Doctor had hopped down and onto Tom's lap.

"If you ask me nicely, I might talk to B'Elanna about it.  I'm sure she'll know how to fix you."  If he had had any teeth, Frog Doc would have bitten Tom in the leg.  Instead, Tom received another tongue swipe and a croaking '_please!'  _"Ok, that's nice enough."  Tom stood up, causing the Doc to hit the deck.

"Watch it Lieutenant, you could break a frog's leg like that."  He hopped up into the empty chair.

"Sorry Doc, now stay put, I'll see what I can do."  Tom headed for he door with plenty of laughter building up again.

"And Mr. Paris, keep your mouth shut, or you'll be pulling double shifts in sickbay for the next six months."  Poor Frog Doc just sat in the chair with his little hat and a goofy frog grin on his face.

"Sure Doc, no problem."  _In your lily-pad dreams froggy.   _

By the time Tom made it to his quarters, over two-dozen crewmen knew about the frog.  Within an hour, the entire ship would know of their new holo-frog doctor.

***

It was dark when Tom entered his quarters.  He was surprised, because B'Elanna had said they were having a nice romantic evening.  _So where's the candles, the music, the food, my sexy wife?  _There was nothing but starlight streaming through the view ports.  "B'Elanna?"  He walked into the bedroom area, seeing a form snuggled under the covers in the bed.  _Maybe she doesn't feeling well, she has been to hell and back the last few days.  _He walked closer to the bed, intending to sit on the edge when he noticed something else.  _OH HELL NO!  _His eyes locked on the 'frog slipper' sticking out from under the covers.  "B'Elanna!!!"  This time he screamed loud enough to wake the dead.

Pretending to be asleep, B'Elanna jumped a mile in the air when her husband yelled.  "Mr. Paris, what the hell are you doing?"  She stood up in the bed, clad in green pajamas and frog slippers on her feet.  "Are you trying to give me a heart attack?"  _The performance of a lifetime, and I love it. _

Tom just stood with his mouth hanging open, looking at his frog-clad wife.  "B'Elanna?"  He meekly choked out, reaching out to touch her.

"No… guess again smart guy, and don't touch me!"  B'Elanna was playing it to the hilt; to the point that she was starting to believe, she WAS the captain.

"No!  This is impossible, the Doc… he fixed you back… he… he's a frog!"  Tom was muttering all kinds of half sentences and B'Elanna was about to lose it.  She couldn't play the game any longer and burst out laughing, falling onto the bed.  "B'Elanna!"  Tom was not happy.  "This isn't funny, how could you do this to me?"  He turned his back on her, sitting on the edge of the bed.  He received a pillow in the back of the head.

"You deserved it, you PIG."  She continued to laugh.  Tom turned around, watching his crazy wife, if she really was his wife.

"What do you mean I deserved it?  What did I do?  I didn't turn the Doc into a frog."

"Neither did I, and that's not what I mean.  I saw you all snuggled up with the captain last night.  She was wrapped around you like a Targ in heat."  Now it was Tom's turn to burst out laughing.

"I would have never thought of Captain Janeway as a Targ, but now that you…"  He was hit with the other pillow.  "What I want to know is… how do you know how I was sleeping anyway?"

"Because I saw you, you idiot."  She sat down on the bed by her husband, taking off the frog slippers and throwing them across the room.

"So, it was you, who woke me up.  I thought I heard something."  He looked at her pouting face.  "I thought you trusted me B'E, you know I never did anything with the Captain.  She was the one wrapped around me, you saw it yourself."  He was almost pleading for understanding.

B'Elanna smiled and took the pillow from him.  "I do trust you Tom, I was just teasing, well mostly.  It did make me jealous when I saw you with Janeway, even though it was me, but not me, and I do trust both of you, I just…"  She smiled sweetly hugging the pillow close to her.

Tom took the pillow from her, and held both of her hands in his.  "B'Elanna, I love you and I would never do anything to hurt you.  It was all just part of the game, you know that."

"I know, and I'm sorry for teasing you, but it was funny to see your reaction.  You really thought I was the Captain again, didn't you?"

"How do I know you aren't?  This could all be another trick, just like the one you played on the Doc."  He had let go of her hands, playing the pouting game well himself.

B'Elanna started to unzip her one-piece green flannel pajamas.  Removing one arm at a time until…  "Is this something the Captain would do?"  She leaned down, kissing him senseless, the green flannel falling to her waist.

When Tom was let up for air, he looked into her eyes, and then to her voluptuous…  "No, and those are definitely NOT the Captain's boobs."

***

Janeway walked slowly into her quarters for the first time in over a day, enjoying the feel of it being _her_ quarters.  It felt good to be home.  _Home!_  She had never actually thought of it like that before, but now she did, and it really did feel like home.  Smiling to herself, she looked around.  _B'Elanna doesn't seem to have moved too much_, _though I wouldn't have put it past her_.  She could just see B'Elanna moving through her rooms, picking up objects, opening and closing cupboards and drawers to get a better impression of her Captain.  _I hope this won't come back to haunt me_.  She laughed a bit.  The past few days had been completely insane, and she was thankful that they were over.  They had annoyed the hell out of her, but looking back, she had to admit they had had their fun moments too.  Not many, but a few.

She moved slowly through her rooms, touching everything lovingly, enjoying the feel of finally being her again.  She had never thought much about it, but to just be _her_ was the best thing in the universe.  _Others might disagree, but I'm glad I'm just me again._  Her thoughts continued as she walked towards the bedroom, taking off her uniform jacket on the way.  Her eyes suddenly hit her bedroom cupboard, the door stood slightly ajar…  _Oh dear, had she found… surely not, but what if she had?_  The Captain of Voyager had kept it well hidden, at the bottom of the cupboard, behind stacks of… but…  _No!_  She pushed the thought away; it wouldn't do her any good to think about it anyway.  Besides, she would find out sooner or later, _probably sooner if I know B'Elanna._

Walking to the window, she gazed out at the stars.  They seemed even prettier from here.  She knew she wasn't objective, but after the past few day… who could blame her, _but first things first,_ _a soak in the tub, and damn how I need it!  _She turned from the window and walked to the bedroom, throwing off her clothes on the way, leaving a trail of different clothing items behind. _ I have plenty of time before Chakotay arrives._

She was looking forward to their dinner, more than she would have thought possible.  She had come to a decision earlier that day, but she still hadn't told him.  To tell the truth she hoped to shock the hell out of him.  _I can just imagine his face, when I tell him,_ she thought laughing hard.  She knew it was crazy, even down right rebellious, but if she could spend a night with her pilot, surely she could spend… of course she didn't plan on ever entering anything in her logs, but… well…  It was time.  They had both waited long enough!  Long enough!!

Removing her last articles of clothing, being lace bra, panties, and socks. _ Not exactly Starfleet issue_, she thought, as she turned on the water, _but neither are Tom's_.  She could still see him wearing those awful boxers with the yellow smiley faces.  _It must be true love between those two or B'Elanna wouldn't put up with it_.  Laughing to herself, she remembered to add a good portion of lavender scented bath oil.  _If only I had a picture of Chakotay in those…_

Walking past the mirror, she studied her reflection closely.  There were a few lines around the eyes, years as a starship Captain had given her those, but she still looked damn good.  No one could claim otherwise, or they had better not, and she couldn't wait to hear Chakotay…  The smile grew wider and her eyes sparkled at the prospect.  It had been so long, _way too long Kathryn.  _She chided herself while testing the water in the tub.  _It's too cold_.  She preferred her water almost scolding, so she let a bit of the water out and added some that was really hot.  _That should do it_, she thought and smiled longing at the tub of lavender scented bubbles. 

Imagining how it would feel to have Chakotay washing her back, she slowly submerged her body into the sea of hot water and bubbles.  The water was just as perfect as her thoughts of what could be and who could be with her.  The bubbles played against her skin, as she leaned back and rested her head on the edge of the large tub.  She closed her eyes, _just for a minute, _she told herself, as all the muscles and tension in her body relaxed for the first time in many days.

Quite some time later she emerged from the bathroom, looking very beautiful with rosy cheeks and a soft glow all over.  She was clad only in a big fluffy towel, as she headed straight for the closet.  _What should I wear_?  She thought, as she searched her meagre wardrobe.  _I want it to be relaxed, but not too relaxed!  _She chuckled,_ hmm something relaxed and VERY SEXY_.  _Well, not much choice then… _she grabbed her choice and closed the closet door.  _Yes perfect,_ she thought, as she admired the silk pantsuit.  She also chose sheer black lace undergarments, or lack there of and headed back to the bathroom.  _Most definitely not Starfleet issue, _she smiled seductively.  Finding the bathroom still too steamy, she chose to dress in her bedroom.  The sleeveless, slightly form-fitting blouse draped delicately over her small frame.  The deep midnight-purple of the flowers were embedded softly in the china-blue silk.  The matching silk pants flowed smoothly over her curves, brushing like feathers over her toes.  She dabbed a bit of her favorite perfume, which she hardly ever wore, just behind her delicate earlobes and down her quite exposed cleavage.  Putting on some make-up, but only a little, just to highlight her natural beauty, she took one last look in the mirror and set about on her next task.  

Walking into the living area, she looked at her dining table.  _I will have to do something about that_, she thought shaking her head, _it screams "standard Starfleet issue", and we can't have that, now can we?  Not tonight!  Hmm maybe a nice tablecloth and some candlesticks…  Yes, that ought to do it_.

She'd had dinner in her quarters many times with her first officer.  Most had been official business, but there had been a few nice evenings.  Romantic, candlelit dinners in her quarters were not the norm, so she would have to replicate most of the things she needed.  It would be worth the rations though, just to… not to mention seeing the look of surprise on his face.  He really had no clue and thought they were only going to meet for one of their usual dinners.  She laughed _a normal working dinner indeed_.

She reached the replicator and started her order, when she realized she didn't really know what Chakotay would prefer.  They knew each other so well, but she had never allowed herself to get to know that side of him.  She looked back at the table and then around the room trying to decide.  _My decorating tastes are not the best, but here goes. _ Minutes later she walked back to the table with her treasured items. 

Unfolding the tablecloth, she spread it across the small table.  It was a beautiful silver-gray damask, which shined incredibly in the dimmed lighting of her quarters.  The flickering lights from the candles would only make it appear even more beautiful.  She looked admiring at her choice.  _You do have taste, Kathryn_, she smiled appreciatively.

Picking up the delicate china-plates and silverware, she placed them on each side of the table, along with two crystal wine glasses, then, finally two candlesticks with the plum colored candles to complete the picture.  The candlesticks were very special to her.  She had replicated a pair like the ones she remembered seeing as a little girl at her grandmother's house.  They were made of glass, no color just, clear glass.  They were very heavy, as the foot consisted of pure glass within which a row of air bubbles spiralled upwards through the glass.  They were old, probably several centuries and the rumor within the family said that they were from the beginning of the 22nd century, but they had never been able to verify it.  Paris would probably blow a fuse, if he knew, but fortunately he didn't know she had any interest in that particular time in history.  She didn't want any disturbances tonight, and to tell the truth, she had had more than enough of Tom Paris the night before.

Janeway stood back to admire the view.  _Hmm… something's missing_, she thought, but couldn't quite determine what it was.  She looked around her quarters and suddenly remembered the rose Chakotay had given her after the incident several years ago where she had nearly died.  "_Flowers!  Of course!"  _She exclaimed into the empty room and hurried to the replicator to get a small bouquet of roses in the exact same color as the candles.  She placed the vase in-between the candlesticks, and then she picked up the biggest and most beautiful rose of them all and placed it on top of Chakotay's plate.  Once again, she stood back and looked.  _PERFECT!  Now I only need to replicate the food._

She would supply the food and he the wine.  It was a bit risky he knew, and even commented on the fact, but she had begged with her best smile and he had finally given in.  She had decided on something simple: cheese, fruit, hot, sourdough bread and red wine.  A good combination for a romantic evening and it was very popular, or so she had heard.  

***

Everything was timed perfectly and her door chimed just as she completed her preparations.  "Come on in Chakotay, I'll just be a minute," she called and hurried to the bathroom to check her appearance once more.  _God, when did I become so self-conscious_, _and nervous!_  The thought crossed her mind, as the butterflies slammed into her stomach.  _Get a grip Janeway, it's only Chakotay, the man you've wanted to be close to for a very long time.  _She took a deep calming breath, andre-entered the main area, where she found Chakotay standing just inside the room, looking admiringly at the table, and a bit shy himself.

He heard her enter and moved towards her slowly, then stopped. _ Why do I suddenly feel such an urge to hug her?  _The thought made him feel a bit awkward and he didn't quite know what to do or say next, so he tried a simple, "Hi."

She saw his sudden awkwardness, could feel it herself and wanted to help him, but she was also at a loss for words.  Something, which didn't happen often for Kathryn Janeway,  "Hi" she said, deciding that a slow approach might be the best thing.  After all, this was new to both of them, sort of anyway.  

"Do you want a glass of wine?"  Chakotay found the words as they both moved towards the table.

"Yes, that sounds wonderful.  Let me just get this and…  " She turned around to look at him and almost bumped into him.  He was right behind her, holding her glass of wine.

"Easy" He laughed, but caught both her and the wine before it spilled all over the carpet.  "We don't want this fine glass of wine to be wasted, do we?"

"No" Janeway smiled and reached for the glass, but he moved it before she could grab hold of it and placed it at the end of the table.  Then he caught her in a big, crushing, bear hug, which surprised them both.

"Kathryn, I have missed you so much.  This whole thing has been so crazy, and I didn't understand, I …" He shivered at the thought and couldn't finish his statement.  He knew he should let go of her, but he just couldn't, he needed to hold her, just a little longer.  Then he felt her arms snake around him, hesitantly at first, but then a bit stronger until she hugged him as tightly and with the same intensity as he did her.

"I know, Chakotay, I know.  There were times when I thought I had lost my mind myself", _constantly_, she thought, _and I even considered jumping ship_.  The thought made her laugh a bit.  Captain Janeway jumping ship!  That would be the day.

Chakotay felt it immediately and pulled away a bit to look at her, wanting to make sure she wasn't crying.  _She isn't!  Good, but why is she laughing?_  "What is it?"

"Nothing, I'll tell you everything later" she promised and pulled him close again, enjoying the contact immensely.  They stood like that for minutes, holding each other, forgetting everything around them and just enjoying the intimacy the moment afforded.

"Kathryn, you look beautiful tonight, did I tell you that?"  She started to giggle.

"I think you just did."  She looked up at him with more laughter in her eyes than was escaping her lightly colored lips.  "Now, how about some dinner, I actually think I got it right this time."  Her smile reached clear through to his dimples.  "And I went to all this trouble…" she added laughing, "it would be a shame to let it go to waste, wouldn't it?"

"Yes, without a doubt."  He placed his hand on her soft cheek.  "So, what am I risking here, do I need to alert the Doctor?"  Janeway felt a fleeting moment of panic hit her, but recovered quickly.

_The Doctor is the worst idea just now Chakotay._  She kept the thought hidden in her smile.  "Risking!  Hmm… sit down and find out Mister."  She said with fake surprise in her voice.  Chakotay grabbed the wine glasses and sat down with his own faked, nervous smile imbedded in his dimpled cheeks.  Janeway felt a sudden urge to throw something at him, but she decided against it since the food was all she had available at her current location.  _I'll get him later, he won't know what hit him.  At least I hope not_.

She grabbed the tray of food and placed it on the table between their plates.  Chakotay looked at it a bit stunned.  _It actually looks good_, he thought a bit surprised.  _In fact, it looks delicious_.  There were at least 8 kinds of cheese, red and orange peppers not to mention the fruit: big, green, seedless and very sweet grapes, three kinds of melons that looked very ripe and juicy, and deep-red strawberries.

"WOW, Kathryn, it looks great!  Did you have Sam do it for you?"  He knew it might get him in trouble, but he just couldn't help it.  He really HAD missed her and their daily banter.

"Are you trying to say I couldn't do it myself?" she asked lightning the candles.  She had missed him too.  _Admit it Kathryn!  You were ready to kill him when you discovered he was having dinner with B'Elanna last night!  While you were stuck with Mr. Paris and the green, flannel, frog pajamas_, which had been rather uncomfortable to tell the truth, but she wasn't about to admit that either.

"Well, considering your past experiences with the replicator, I'd say it…" he didn't get any further before he was hit by Kathryn's flying napkin.

"Why you…" she laughed, she wanted desperately to keep a straight face, but found she just couldn't, especially since he chose that moment to put his dashingly handsome dimples on full display.  He also looked too damn sexy in his cream colored silk shirt.  _Why didn't I notice that sooner?_  Kathryn Janeway was fighting a loosing battle and she knew it, so she stood up and headed for the small basket containing the warm bread and the various kinds of crackers.  She placed it on the table and sat down, cheeks slightly flushed.  "Would you please give me back my napkin?" she asked politely trying not to laugh at the look in his eyes.

_What the hell is she up to?_  He said to himself.  _I have never seen her act this way and that very low-cut blouse…_He looked down, _damn…_He tried to avert his gaze and didn't say anything aloud.  _Why ruin the mood hmm?  Just stay calm man, and gaze in her beautiful eyes, not at her…damn, how would she react if she knew what I was thinking_?  

Janeway was looking at him with almost the same lust and longing in her own eyes.  _That sexy silk shirt, and_ _that look in his eyes…  God, he is driving me crazy!_  "Here how about some bread?"  She said with a slight quiver, trying to get herself under control again.  _Those damn dimples!_  She handed him the basket.  "You have to try some of those crackers," she said pointing.  "They're really good."

"Everything looks great Kathryn."  He answered in his own slightly quivering voice while eyeing her lovingly.  They finally managed to settle down to eat, and started talking about the past few days.

"You should have seen your face in the ready room Chakotay," Kathryn laughed.  "You looked so confused, as if you thought we had both lost our minds."

"I did, and I could have sworn you enjoyed yourself there for a minute."  He grabbed a large grape and looked at her with a dangerous glint in his eyes.  They had been eating for a while and a playful mood was beginning to surface.  Chakotay looked at the grape and began to peel it with his teeth, nipping softly at its flesh to make a better display for her.  "Hmm…  Kathryn, you should really try these, they are _so_ sweet and _very_ juicy."

He caught her by surprise and it took her a while to gather enough wits about her to persuade her body to co-operate again.  Her hand had stopped in mid air, but she now forced it to grab another piece of melon.  The biggest and juiciest piece she could find.  _Two can play this game_, she thought.

He took one more nip at the grape and plopped it slowly into his mouth, all the while looking intently at her.

She took the melon with both hands, holding it delicately between her fingers and turned it slowly, trying to determine where to start.  Viewing it with longing eyes filled with passion, she lowered her mouth over the tender flesh of the melon, sucking slightly.  Then she sank her teeth into it and removed a small piece, chewing slowly, enjoying the taste, the feel, and Chakotay's expression.

Kathryn repeated the process again and again until nothing was left and Chakotay could hardly think of anything else, including breathing.  The juice was running down her jawbone, but she didn't seem to notice, and he wanted nothing more than to…  He grabbed another grape… 

***

Some time later, Kathryn got up laughing and started to clear the table.  She needed the distraction, if things weren't to get out hand right then and there, and besides she also had a dessert ready.

Chakotay reached out a hand to stop her.  "Where are you going, we were only just getting to the good part?"  He asked seriously, well, as seriously as possible considering the circumstances.

"I know, but it's time for… _dessert_!"  She just couldn't help it.  She loved the man and had for years.

"Dessert ha, sounds interesting, and just what's for dessert?"  He asked looking at her in no uncertain terms. 

She turned away trying to get her breathing under control.  _This is getting out of control and I intend to enjoy every moment of it._  She put down the tray with cheese and picked up the pecan pie she had replicated earlier, an extra large one.  She loved it and suspected he would to, besides they might just want a bit more later as a midnight snack or…

On her way back to the table, she passed him and brushed her hand lightly though his hair.  When he looked at her, there was no doubt that something had changed between them.  She moved back to the replicator, and he got up to help.  Deciding to risk fate he put his arms around her waist and kissed her lightly at the base of her neck, inhaling the light perfume.  She trembled a bit, but didn't pull away; in fact, she just pushed her body closer to his.  _Hmm… _he thought and kissed her hair. _ Spirits how I love this woman!_

Handing him the coffee and cognac, she carried the cups and plates herself, and was about to sit when she found him standing behind her, holding the chair.  _The perfect gentleman_, she thought, _but not too much, I hope_.  A smug smile crossed her lips briefly.

Chakotay then walked back to the replicator and made an order she couldn't hear.  _What now_, she thought, as she saw him turn around, a beautiful red rose in his hand.  He moved beside her and knelt down.  "You have no idea how much this evening has meant to me Kathryn" he said in a low voice, almost too low for her to hear.  His voice was filled with all the love he had never been able to express, then, taking her hand, he placed the rose in it.

She looked at him for a long minute, then slowly brought the rose to her nose, smelling its delicate and sweet sent.  Slowly she raised her head and looked at him with tears in her eyes "but I do Chakotay, I do."

He got up then and moved to take his place at the table, but she couldn't take her eyes off him.  Hesitantly, she reached for his hand and he let her.  Silence settled over them and they both looked at their entwined hands lying on the table, both knowing that everything had changed, and they would never look back, only forward.

***

They ate in silence, holding hands, eyes locked together, when they heard the tinkling sound of a transporter beam.

"What the hell…" exclaimed Chakotay jumping from his seat, "WHAT THE HELL IS THAT?"

Janeway pulled back from the table, trying to control her laughter, but it was useless and she doubled over, holding her sides.  _What a sight_, she thought.

There, right in the middle of the pecan pie sat the Doctor in frog disguise.  Both of his big feet planted firmly in it, and bits of the sticky, caramel like filling falling over the rim and onto his feet.  He looked down, anger filling his big frog-eyes.  A frown crossed his features, as he shifted his weight from one foot to the other.  The Doctor was one hopping-mad frog.

He tried to cross his arms, but found that his small frog-arms were far to short.  Then he began stamping his right food in the pie, only getting himself stickier in the process.

Chakotay was beginning to recover and joined Janeway laughing hysterically, which only angered the frog further.  He opened his mouth, trying to speak, but he was too angry to get a word out.  He tried again, making a croaking sound in the process.  "Excuse me!  Captain!  Commander!  I fail to see what's so damn funny."  They just looked at him and continued laughing.  "SOMEONE'S been tampering with my program and you're LAUGHING???" he spit out between clenched teeth… well, rather no teeth.  "I want my program back to normal and I want it NOW, CAPTAIN!!"

"I'm sorry frog…  I mean Doctor!  Right now I'm in the middle of something VERY important, but I'll take care of it first thing in the morning, OK?"  She said, tears rolling down her cheeks now.  "Besides, you're a rather handsome frog, perhaps if you went to the holodeck and…"

"CAPTAIN!!!!" both the Doctor and Chakotay exclaimed shocked, and the Doctor wondered briefly, if something had gone wrong that morning after all.  He quickly decided to check his readings a second time when he returned to Sickbay, well, as soon as he was back to himself.  It was rather difficult to function properly right now.  Everything seemed… out of reach.

Chakotay moved towards her and the Doctor hopped gingerly down from the table, leaving large, sticky stains of pecan pie behind on both table and carpet.

"Kathryn?  Do you know anything about this?"

She shrugged her shoulders.  "I might, and then again I might not.  A Captain knows all on her ship, remember?"

"I think you know all, Captain," he added in a whisper, "and B'Elanna."

"Ok, so what if I did?  He deserved it and I did warn him!"  She uttered defiantly.

"Kathryn, you can't just leave him like that.  What if we have an emergency and need him?  And he did save your lives!"  Chakotay pleaded gently.

"I know, which is why we programmed a time limit – 24 hours Chakotay, that's all.  We just wanted to teach him a lesson, and he'll revert back in case of a red alert.  There's really nothing to worry about, except his ego that is."  She said with a smirk, casting a glance at the green frog, jumping up and down on her carpet a few feet away.  "He was far to smug about the whole thing!"

"Tomorrow?  Captain!  I said NOW!!  Do you have any idea how embarrassing this is for me?"  The doctor emphasized every word.  He was truly pissed and DIDN'T want to wait.

"Watch that tone of yours Doctor, or you might just…"  She was interrupted by the look in Chakotay's eyes.

_Kathryn, you're so beautiful_, he thought, _especially when you're angry.  I can't help it…  I've got to kiss you_.  "Kathryn…"  He leaned down, so his face was level with hers.

"Hmm…"

"I'm going to kiss you", he whispered softly in her ear.  "I need you to stop me now, if…" 

"Stop you!  Have you lost your mind?  What are you waiting for?"  She asked and reached her arms around his neck, pulling him close for a kiss.

Chakotay deepened the kiss and pressed her close, enveloping her with his entire body.

The EMH Frog didn't believe his own eyes.  What the hell were they doing?  Didn't they understand there was more pressing matters to attend too?  _Well_, _don't they? _ He thought with a great deal of sarcasm.  _They're obviously enjoying themselves, but they will simply have to postpone this session of lip hockey until later.  THIS IS IMPORTANT!_  He then hopped in to stop them. 

Chakotay felt something nudging his leg and pulled apart from Janeway, reluctantly.  He looked down and saw Frog Doc trying to get in between them.  The whole situation was really too insane and he burst out laughing, but Janeway started pulling him towards the bedroom.

"Ignore him!  It's just a frog."

"Just a frog!  Hello!"  The Doctor just couldn't ignore the slight.  "Have you seen the spots on my back?  According to the history of the Danish Leopard Frog those spots…"

He was interrupted by Chakotay's cream-colored silk shirt landing on his head, whereupon he heard feet moving across the floor.

"You know the way out, right Frog?"  Janeway called back.  He shook his head trying to clear the silk shirt obstructing his vision.  The Doctor was still fuming, but realized he wouldn't accomplish anything more here and felt even more depressed at the prospect of having to remain a frog until morning.  _Here I am, at the lowest point in my life and do they care?  No!  No one cares.  I am only a hologram and who cares about a hologram_.

He started hopping towards the door, listening to the sounds coming from the bedroom and fully intending to go to sickbay, when he suddenly thought about B'Elanna.  Surely, she would help him, if he asked her nicely.

Feeling a bit encouraged, he hopped through the door and into the corridor, planning his revenge.  Knowing just how well Kathryn Janeway loved her yearly physicals.  _I'll just show her what a good frog does at her next physical, which by the way is in only a few weeks_.  An evil grin spread across his lovely frog-face.  _Revenge is sweet indeed. _ Suddenly he felt a LOT better and gingerly hopped on being seen by several crewmembers on his way, but he didn't mind anymore.  He was a happy frog on a mission, and revenge would be sweet, VERY SWEET!!!!

The End!


End file.
